


what if he wants ken?

by februaryitboy



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, Reverse Pretend Relationship, a bit of unrequited JohnDo, goth Doyoung and whipped Jaehyun, inspired by a fan edit, it's not Christmas yet but here you go, trust fund baby doyoung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:21:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27588056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/februaryitboy/pseuds/februaryitboy
Summary: Doyoung has always been more into Ken’s luscious blond hair and muscles than Barbie’s life in the dream house. Jaehyun fulfils both criteria.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung
Comments: 26
Kudos: 149





	1. Chapter 1

Christmas season was a jolly good time for Jung Jaehyun. He absolutely loved everything about it: the trees decorated with pretty lights and funny little ornaments, the cheerful carols sung by cute orphans bundled up in thrift clothings, the exchange of expensive but refundable gifts, and even Santa Claus even though he no longer believed that he was real, he just liked the spirit of it. Everywhere Jaehyun went it was almost like he could feel the wet softness of each snowflake and smell the fresh peppermint and pumpkin spice in the air, he made sure to breathe it all in before it became a foul smell of fake positivity of the New Year’s Eve that would eventually turn into a deadly gas of broken promises and unfulfilled resolutions. Christmas in South Korea was more of a holiday for couples stupid in love than quality time with family—parents and relatives were scheduled for Chuseok—and for a few years Jaehyun had sadly spent the occasion either alone or third-wheeling his more fortunate friends—but not this year, nope. This year Jung Jaehyun had the one and only, the marvellous Kim Doyoung and he was ready to get on the naughty list.

“You think he’d go with you wearing that godforsaken piece of trash?” Sicheng said after another noisy sip of his non-holiday iced beverage. Dong Sicheng was what Jaehyun would ironically refer to as _Cliche Gay,_ his slicked back hair and obsession with iced coffee and cuffed jeans was proof of that. Jaehyun, on the other hand, was more enlightened than that, so of course, Sicheng would not understand his choice of outfit: a red and green sweater with Santa posing a la Kim Kardashian on that viral BREAK THE INTERNET magazine cover, except instead of champagne there was a glass of milk on his juicy ass.

“He loves me in spite of anything,” Jaehyun said with the confidence of The Most Handsome Man In The World 2021—an honour which obviously should’ve been awarded to Jaehyun. People had eyes, some of them might not be 20/20, but even from afar and with eyes squinted Jaehyun knew he could beat Ryan Reynolds anytime of the day and even in the dark with night vision.

“Until he finds someone with a style that wouldn’t offend a blind guy, maybe some Abercrombie hunk with a crewcut and oiled muscles, and then he’d fuck him stupid, switching positions for him all the way to Monday,” Sicheng said. He thought he was slick with the Ariana reference, but Jaehyun was blessed with infinite pop culture wisdom. But either way—

“You’re projecting,” Jaehyun said. For a second there was a glint of hurt in Sicheng’s eyes which let Jaehyun know he had hit the bull’s eye. He knew Sicheng didn’t take this as a serious offence, so he let the tiny Jaehyuns in his brain to dance around in victory for a little bit. “Seriously, didn’t your therapist say it’s time to let it go? The Cheating Gate happened nearly three years ago.”

Unlike Jaehyun who had been blessed by Aphrodite who sent him a literal angel with a heavenly voice named Kim Doyoung, his best friend—debatable title on a good day—Sicheng of the Dong family had had a terrible experience with romance right around Christmas. Maybe it was the week before Christmas Eve, or the week after, time before Kim Doyoung was a construct that didn’t matter to Jaehyun. The point was that Sicheng had caught his then boyfriend of five months in bed with another twink (“With an ass so supple and asshole so bright I couldn’t even look away from it!” Sicheng had wailed in both agony and leftover admiration while Jaehyun wished he could just be teleported somewhere else) that according to Sicheng screamed in a way that would put porn stars to shame. Jaehyun had no use of porn ever since Doyoung descended from the pearly gates and into his arms, but back then he could still imagine the noise. In any case, the whole debacle happened almost three years ago and Jaehyun knew Sicheng had been going through therapy with some cute guy with curly hair and ironically purposeful coke bottle glasses ever since, but despite the advice coming from the mouth of a man who was close to Sicheng’s ideal type, he was still as stubborn as he was in everything in life.

“I don’t actually feel angry about it anymore, I’d say good for them and even smile at him if we ever crossed paths again—it’s just the principle of it. God, Jaehyun, get with the program,” Sicheng said.

Truth be told, Jaehyun didn’t really care about Sicheng’s drama, not after years had passed. He would rather spend his precious time thinking of another program, which was his plan to spend the holidays with Doyoung for the first time. Jaehyun had met Kim Doyoung around the end of August a year ago. Let Jaehyun set the scene: it was a late summer pool party in the midst of a seemingly never-ending pandemic and at first Jaehyun thought it was absolutely outrageous, he was one of those righteous people who actually cared about the elderly and the children, and a big social gathering was not a good idea at a dire time like that, but Sicheng had insisted that it would be okay as long as they had their three-ply masks on. Of course, nobody with a nose and working lungs could swim with a mask on, so in the end every health protocol had been futile. The whole event was almost like it was planned by Satan straight from deepest pit of hell, too many rowdy frat boys in questionable speedos while the women looked like they just stepped out of swimwear magazine cover, enticing but entirely out of place, and amidst the chaos Jaehyun had seen him, his true love, the Morticia Addams to his poor imitation of Gomez: Kim Doyoung was calmly sipping a flute of champagne under one of the umbrellas by the pool, clad in an oversized black sweater and nothing else, and looking completely unbothered by neither the outdated shitty house music nor the frat boys singing along entirely out of tune. It took a while for Doyoung to even spare him a glance, but that was essentially the beginning of Jaehyun’s second chance in life, his rebirth.

“I’m already packing for the holiday trip,” Jaehyun announced proudly after he finished his cup of cappuccino, the elaborate latte art completely ruined.

“Jae, that’s still in two fucking weeks, I’m sure some people still have their supermarket halloween decorations up,” Sicheng sounded exasperated, clearly unfamiliar with the kind of love where you get excited even by the prospect of buying matching toothbrushes. Unlike Jaehyun whose heart could only spell Doyoung’s name, Sicheng was devoid of any love.

“I need to be ready in case I forget something,” Jaehyun said. It was the sensible option, he tended to be a little forgetful if not for Doyoung taking matters into his own hands and setting up several reminders on Jaehyun’s phone. Noisy but effective.

“Are you sure this isn’t a Get Out situation?” Sicheng said.

“How dare you,” Jaehyun clutched his chest. Sicheng looked genuinely skeptical which honestly kind of offended Jaehyun. Of course, Jaehyun knew his best friend, that he had a concerning hobby of putting on a tinfoil hat was a known fact, always knee-deep in whatever conspiracy theory that tickled his brain, but not to this extent. “Doyoung would never. I know he really wants me to meet his family. We’ve been talking about this since around the fourth of July—”

“We don’t celebrate fourth of July,” Sicheng cut him off.

“Not the point,” Jaehyun retorted. “The important thing is that Doyoung wants me there with him, and Christmas is arguably the second most romantic holiday after Valentine’s judging from the amount of shitty Christmas romcoms you love to watch—”

“We don’t talk about that.”

“Yeah, but that one with Emma Roberts was a tad offensive and you gotta admit it,” Jaehyun said and then realised he was getting off track. “I’m going with Doyoung to his winter paradise in Busan and you will be sipping your wine cooler alone in your one-bedroom rent-controlled apartment that I’m sure had a rat or two at some point.”

“That’s somehow classist, but alright,” Sicheng finally backed down. He looked around the cafe they were sitting in, alert eyes sweeping the entire space as though somebody—maybe a sexy cop with a pair of extra handcuffs—would bust them in the middle of an illicit drug deal. And then, when he was sure nobody was looking at them funny, with a lowered voice he said, “I’m just a little concerned, Jae, you’ve only been with Doyoung since Valentine’s _this year_. That’s, like, a flash in the pan in terms of love. I don’t want you to get too excited only for him to disappoint you.” 

Jaehyun was genuinely touched by Sicheng’s rare display of affection, his devil’s spawn of a best friend could be caring at the right times, and he was thankful for this blessing in small doses—any more of this sweetness would make Jaehyun think that Sicheng’s worst nightmare had come true and he had been replaced by an alien in a human suit. Although Jaehyun didn’t like to admit it, Sicheng did have a point. Jaehyun had only started dating Doyoung—officially in a way that he could hold Doyoung’s waist and kiss him in public without the other man acting like he was attacked by a madman—since Valentine’s Day, which also happened to be his birthday. Jaehyun’s lucky star wasn’t the brightest, but he had gotten lucky twice on that day—meaning that he had the chance to bone Doyoung 34+35, but also more importantly, Doyoung had confessed that he felt something more than mere lust for Jaehyun. It had been an emotional moment, Jaehyun was surely on the verge of bursting into manly tears, which was understandable because he literally had to wait for excruciatingly slow months for Doyoung to tell him that he liked, _liked_ Jaehyun in a romantic way. In AO3 tropes that Jaehyun still secretly liked to read before bedtime, Doyoung was a classic case of someone who was bad at feelings—or in other words, he was emotionally constipated. Jaehyun felt like he hit the jackpot when Doyoung had snuggled into him, cute and entirely Jaehyun’s to call _mine_.

“I hear your concerns but it’s Christmas, Sicheng,” Jaehyun said. “I don’t think anyone, much less someone delicate like Doyoung, would screw me over on a happy jolly day.”

“Doyoung is literally the farthest away from the definition of delicate,” Sicheng scoffed. “Did you see the knives in his ridiculously big and spotless kitchen? Seriously, your boyfriend lives in a page straight from Architectural Digest and yet you dress like a hobo, such an embarrassment, but whatever, that’s Doyoung’s problem—as I was saying, I don’t think he uses those pointy things solely for cooking.”

Jaehyun had never thought that far about the stuff in Doyoung’s kitchen. Sure, Doyoung was very careful in handling the knives like each was worth thousands—knowing Doyoung and his old money family, they probably cost a fortune unimaginable to Jaehyun and even Financially Irresponsible Sicheng—but to Jaehyun it was just another quirky thing about Doyoung, like how he liked everything in the darkest shade of black, even his sparkly black nail polish. Kim Doyoung was Jaehyun’s gothic manic pixie dream boy. But deeper than that, Jaehyun had come to find that Doyoung was the type to make a to-do list of small and big goals to keep their relationship fresh and exciting. Sometimes what Doyoung had in mind was beyond what Jaehyun’s puny mind could comprehend, like how Doyoung wrote down _have a quality time on Easter_ on the list and then turned up in front of Jaehyun’s apartment wearing a playboy bunny suit underneath a Burberry trench coat. Jaehyun wasn’t sure if it was some sort of blasphemy, he only knew that although inappropriate, it was also highly arousing to his caveman-like brain. To say that Jaehyun was often caught off guard was an understatement, but he would never complain, not when most of Doyoung’s checklists turned out to be his kinks that also became Jaehyun’s kinks. Jaehyun used to compare Doyoung to a cute bunny, the way he munched on food was almost identical to the fuzzy animal, but that thought quickly turned dirty after that faithful Easter Day.

“This is a big step for us, I know that,” Jaehyun said. “But I don’t think every relationship should follow a certain timeline, every couple have their own pace, and this is mine with Doyoung. If this goes well, which I’m sure it will no doubt about that, then it’ll be my turn to introduce him to my parents.”

“You told your parents about this plan already, didn’t you?” Sicheng accused, his manicured finger pointed towards Jaehyun in such a way that was worse than Judgment Day.

“Yes, but also—”

“And you haven’t told Doyoung about it.”

Fuck Dong Sicheng and his inconvenient omnipotence or maybe psychic ability to read Jaehyun’s mind. Maybe Jaehyun was predictable, but he still felt like he had just been seen by Zeus himself. _Just strike me with lightning already, God_ , he thought, though he wouldn’t give Sicheng the pleasure of seeing him suffer. So alright, maybe Jaehyun had gotten a little ahead of himself. On halloween Jaehyun’s mother had called to check on him—she wanted to know if Jaehyun had gone trick or treating like he said, which was a complete lie—and Jaehyun had told her about Doyoung. In Jaehyun's pathetic defence, he had just gotten down from the high of seeing Doyoung bent over in the sluttiest cheerleader costume, and his brain was completely fried, unable to receive nor send appropriate information. After a mind-blowing round of sex, he just couldn’t _not_ talk about Kim Doyoung. Thankfully his boyfriend had been in the bathroom with the tap running so he didn’t hear Jaehyun’s lovesick rant about how perfect he was. If Jaehyun was honest, it took all the willpower in Jaehyun not to bring up anything related to their bedroom activities; he was sure that as much as she loved Jaehyun, her only child and the light of her life, his mother still wouldn’t want to hear him wax poetic about Doyoung’s ass and thighs.

“It’s fine,” Jaehyun waved a hand dismissively. “Doyoung would love the idea. My mother is great and has a lot of love for everyone, I’m sure you won’t dare to fight me on this. She adores you despite your refusal to call her mum—”

“I only have one mum and I’m pretty sure she’s not your mum.”

“Whatever—” another dismissive wave—“my dad is also not bad, though he might scare Doyoung with his bad dad jokes. He’s been going on and on about that one about the guy who cut off the left side of his body. The punchline is _he’s all right now,_ which I think isn’t funny and maybe even ableist somehow.”

“Just—” Sicheng sighed like he had to carry the biggest baggage known to man—“make sure you have Plan B. Always have Plan C too just in case. Once you get there, the first objective is to find the fastest escape route, but do it discreetly, you don’t want them to know what you’re planning. That’s the key to survival. Also, maybe you should steal—I mean, _borrow_ one of Doyoung’s knives, that could come in handy in a hand-to-hand combat. Despite your muscles you look like you can’t even fight a toddler, so I’ll scrape my knees praying for you in my dingy little apartment here in Seoul.”

“Jesus Christ,” Jaehyun (ironically) made the sign of the cross. Sicheng gave him the stink eye which Jaehyun immediately returned with one of his own. “This isn’t Get Out or Us or whatever movie got to your pretty little conspiracy-loving head, Sicheng. Doyoung and I are going to be more than okay, and I’m sure there won’t be knives involved, so you don’t need to get your panties in a twist.”

“When I see your name followed by past tense in the news on Christmas day, you can bet I will be on TV as a witness just to say _I told you so_ and have the last laugh,” Sicheng said, a warning that was a little too dramatic for Jaehyun’s taste.

“Sure, go ahead. Whatever.” Jaehyun was tired of going round and round on this weird argument that would never end because they were both stubborn (or “principled” as Sicheng would say). He slumped back against his chair and looked down at Santa smiling on his chest with a white carton of milk that said MILK in his hands.

Christmas was going to be great.


	2. Chapter 2

“I don’t care if God himself told you to rewrite her into someone who would think too hard before taking a risk instead of just doing it and see how it goes like her character traits would dictate, I care that it doesn’t fit the bigger narrative, that she’s dauntless and willing to give anything a try—” another sip of Macallan 18—“Curse Satan! Are you a rock with no brain? Is that it? Did you leave your brain out in the open last night and then some goblin ran with it?”

“Hey—”

“Not now—” old fashioned on the marble kitchen island with a loud clank—“I’m going to end this call before you give me an aneurysm, I swear to God, it’s too early to be subjected to your idiocy. I’m not talking to you ever again. Goodbye.”

Jaehyun stared at his boyfriend with heart eyes, waiting patiently as he took several deep breaths as taught by his therapist. Doyoung was so sexy when his anger spilled all over the place—as long as Jaehyun wasn’t on the receiving end of it. It had never happened so far, Doyoung was soft as a baby’s butt towards Jaehyun on most days, but there was a first for everything and he would rather not find out. Right now it was Jaehyun’s duty to refill Doyoung’s glass. Doyoung had been on call with one of his children—they were young adult writers but to Doyoung they might as well be actual children—for nearly two hours, his voice raised so high Jaehyun was concerned for his pretty throat. Jaehyun, however, was used to this happening right before his eyes. Kim Doyoung was a literary publicist for a famous publishing house and he was very hands-on in the developmental editing of his client’s books, sometimes even more so than the actual editor (“They’re all useless and spineless, I tell you,” Doyoung had said plenty of times). There was no room for mediocrity for Doyoung whose standards were higher than Jaehyun on the weekends. Doyoung’s clients and coworkers both feared and adored him for his blazing fire of passion and Jaehyun was the overly proud boyfriend.

“My love,” Doyoung said after he seemed more composed and no longer on the verge of another eruption. When he turned to look at Jaehyun, there was a smile on his face that made Jaehyun’s heart flutter like a plastic bag in a storm. Jaehyun gulped as Doyoung stalked towards him, the glint in his eyes dangerous. He let Doyoung take a fist of his blonde locks and pull rather harshly, one swift motion and Jaehyun was forced to look at him in the eyes with his chin angled upwards. Jaehyun grimaced a little, he had just retouched his roots and his scalp still hurt a little from the harsh bleaching chemicals—but, oh God, Doyoung smelled like vanilla and roses, an intoxicating combination that never failed to make Jaehyun’s head spin, and suddenly it was all okay. “Help me fit all of this shit in the suitcase, will you?”

 _All of this shit_ was Doyoung’s clothes and shoes. There was a heap of them thrown so haphazardly on the living room wool carpet that Jaehyun was concerned because none of those items was cheap, each would’ve cost Jaehyun an arm and a leg and maybe his soul if he had been the one who bought them. On the top of the expensive pile was Doyoung’s favourite designer black booty shorts which Jaehyun also loved, though he wasn’t sure if it was fitting of the occasion. They were going to spend a _Christmas_ holiday for a duration of four days, and it was going to be cold, so Doyoung packing inappropriate shorts and five pair of shoes—all of them combat boots—was surely going overboard.

“We’ll be there for less than a week, you don’t need to pack your whole closet,” Jaehyun said, his voice a bit coarse, still with the overpriced bottle of Macallan in hand in case Doyoung wanted more. It was barely past 9 a.m. and Jaehyun would be concerned if in front of him was some sod like Sicheng, but Doyoung was one of those people who drink and know things. You just don’t question people like that.

“Shut your foul mouth,” Doyoung gasped, breathy and sexy, and he let go of Jaehyun’s hair to lean back with a palm over his heart (that belonged to Jaehyun only). “I have to be runway ready just in case I run into my old high school friends. They won’t catch me slipping.”

“But my love for you won’t change even if you get old.”

“Are you saying I’m going to age and turn wrinkly and ugly?” Now Doyoung was leaning forward again, invading Jaehyun’s space once more, eyes squinted like he was challenging Jaehyun to say something else.

“No, my immortal betrothed,” Jaehyun said. He had not put a ring on Doyoung yet but he was sure their love was meant for more than just one lifetime. Also, Doyoung might be an actual vampire, Jaehyun’s neck would attest to that. “I’m just saying I’d love you regardless,” Jaehyun continued, which seemed like the right words to please Doyoung.

“Now grab me my Louis Vuitton suitcase from the closet, please,” Doyoung said, turning around to put the glass in the sink.

“Which one?” Jaehyun asked because Doyoung had at least five of them and Jaehyun would rather study calculus again than differentiate them.

“The one with the Coraline luggage tag,” Doyoung said.

Jaehyun, ever the attentive soul partner, was already on his way to Doyoung’s closet that was comparable to a department store.

A few hours later, after Jaehyun had managed to convince Doyoung to leave his second pair of Doc Martens in the closet and that he didn’t need to bring two eyeshadow palettes that were basically the same dark colours, they were finally in a taxi on the way to the train station. They were running a little late, but Doyoung said it was fine and Jaehyun would always believe him. Taking the train had been a decision they made after a long discussion on how they would get to Busan. Doyoung had a sleek black BMW M5 in his parking lot, a car that he seldom used because his apartment was located in the heart of Gangnam and so was his office, and Doyoung was absolutely not going to drive all the way to Busan. Jaehyun, on the other hand, was willing to do the job—but Doyoung was also absolutely not letting anyone touch his car, not even Jaehyun. The lack of trust in handling Doyoung’s machine baby was a small bump in their relationship that Jaehyun still had to work on, though that could wait. Another option they talked about was to fly, it would only take them an hour of flight, an idea which Doyoung quickly shot down because the airport was too much of a hassle and it was bad for his skin. Jaehyun had agreed, Doyoung’s skin needed to be preserved and revered. And so, in the end, the train was the only answer. The final game plan was to take the KTX from Seoul Station and then Doyoung’s brother would pick them up at Busan Central. Simple enough for Jaehyun to not require a reminder.

As soon as they arrived at the train station (right on time as Doyoung had assured him), Doyoung—who lived his entire life as a posh trust fund baby—looked like he was plucked straight from Gossip Girl and planted into an ordinary commoner’s world. Doyoung’s black tweed Chanel coat with a red ruffled button up underneath made him look like a blooming rose in the midst of long black puffer jackets. Meanwhile, although he wouldn’t admit it, Jaehyun looked like what Sicheng would call a dweeb in his red Christmas sweater with a big squeaky reindeer nose right in the middle of his chest. Thankfully, this was Seoul, a metropolitan city where no one gave half a fuck, and so nobody was staring, just a quick glance here and there. Jaehyun was concerned about losing Doyoung in the crowd, so he kept a hand on his boyfriend’s elbow to guide him through the throng of travellers and get to the right platform.

There were still ten minutes before they could board the train. Jaehyun saw a small coffee stand and figured Doyoung would like a hot drink. “Stay here and watch the luggage,” Jaehyun said to Doyoung and walked away before he could protest.

The man at the coffee stand was an older man with more white hair on his chin than on his head, the drowsiness obvious in his kind eyes behind thick glasses. Jaehyun had to repeat his order twice, the second time in a louder voice that Jaehyun swore echoed through the platform; _ONE CAFFE LATTE-LATTE-LATTE AND A GREEN TEA PLEASE-PLEASE-PLEASE._ Jaehyun wished he could get a pumpkin spice just to satiate his inner basic white girl, but in this world he would take what he could get. It took five minutes for the man to fix the drinks, his wrinkled fingers trembling throughout the process, either from the cold or something else. Jaehyun almost offered to make the drinks himself. He had some experience as a barista (a crash course at some coffee lab with Sicheng during one of his phases).

“I thought you left me here with the plebeians,” Doyoung said when Jaehyun returned.

“This one’s for you. There’s no mint on the menu so this green tea is all I got,” Jaehyun said as he handed Doyoung the cup with a sleeve. Jaehyun’s own cup was sleeveless, he wanted to feel the heat.

“Thank you, love,” Doyoung said genuinely.

Their train arrived two minutes and thirty-two seconds before the scheduled time. Jaehyun hauled both his and Doyoung’s suitcases and let Doyoung get inside first. Jaehyun was about to take a seat before Doyoung yanked his arm. “What—” Jaehyun started to say, and then Doyoung whipped out a wad of alcohol pads from his LV backpack and dusted off their seats.

“Now sit and relax, we have three hours to kill,” Doyoung said once he was settled in.

“I hope there’s no zombies on this train,” Jaehyun said, belatedly realising he probably sounded like his dad with the lame jokes, but his fear was unfounded because Doyoung actually laughed and made Jaehyun feel like he was funnier than John Mulaney. Small victories.

“I hope there _are_ zombies,” Doyoung said. “Imagine Christmas with flesh-eating zombies.”

Jaehyun vaguely remembered that there was indeed as Christmas zombie movie, he and Sicheng had discovered it through Google, but it was too shitty of a flick even for their questionable standards so they didn’t bother watching it. In any case, Jaehyun did not want to get eaten by zombies just yet, so he silently prayed Doyoung’s wish would not come true. To distract himself from the possibility of a zombie apocalypse, Jaehyun pulled out a book from his bag; The Goldfinch. It was a very long novel, a total of 962 pages, and entirely in English. Now Jaehyun thought that his English language skill was decent enough, he lived in America for four years, but reading something so thick it could knock out someone was still quite a challenge for him. After two weeks he had only gotten to the part where the time skipped all the way to eight years later and Theo was retelling his story back in New York City.

“You know, Jae,” Doyoung said lazily, both legs stretched on Jaehyun’s lap. When Jaehyun looked up from the jumbled words on page 540, he saw that Doyoung’s eyes were half-lidded, but not in a sexy way where it led to something fun. He looked tired. “Any other time I would criticise your choice of reading, but I feel like I’m going to doze off in the middle of it and where’s the fun in that? And in some way I think that says a lot about The Goldfinch.”

Doyoung’s eyes shifted towards the bird on the cover. By the power only Doyoung possessed even his sleepy gaze was somehow still filled with so much disdain. Jaehyun didn’t quite understand Doyoung’s problem with Donna Tartt, or maybe just this particular work of hers, because he was far from the critical reader type. Jaehyun graduated with a business degree and now worked a 9-to-5 as a corporate drone, he didn’t have the mental capacity to dissect literature beyond the words written on the pages. Regardless, Jaehyun loved listening to Doyoung’s rants about whatever he was reading or editing or promoting. There was something magnetic in Doyoung’s choice of words, the way he talked almost like music to Jaehyun’s ears. Maybe it was a side effect to the overflowing love—borderline obsession according to Sicheng—Jaehyun had for his boyfriend. Doyoung could say he chopped someone with one of his sharpest knives and Jaehyun would coo at how adorable he was.

“Do you want to sleep for a bit?” Jaehyun asked. He decided he could read later, so he put his book back into his messenger bag.

“I don’t think I can—” the yawn that escaped Doyoung’s lips was a long winded one—“yeah, maybe I do need to sleep. I was awake until 2 a.m. last night.”

Jaehyun smiled. He knew Doyoung had had many sleepless nights fretting over this new book that was about to be released. Doyoung deserved some rest. “Come here then,” he said in a soft voice, pulling Doyoung into his embrace. The motion was almost automatic; they had done this a million of times, they were pros in cuddling even in confined spaces. Doyoung let out a throaty whine, complaining a little, as he snuggled into the crook of Jaehyun’s neck. Jaehyun immediately understood and shifted a little to make sure Doyoung was comfortable, arm looped around his shoulder to warm him up. Once they had found the perfect position, Jaehyun could feel Doyoung smiling, he could feel him inhaling his scent and then exhaling softly against his neck. Jaehyun kissed the top of Doyoung’s head. “Sleep well, my love.”

Unlike most nights where Doyoung would toss and turn in bed for over an hour, this time sleep had successfully pulled him into its embrace within a few minutes. Jaehyun was glad. He put his cheek on the crown of Doyoung’s head, careful not to disturb him, and then listened closely to his boyfriend’s slow breathing. Moments like this were rare, their relationship was like a never-ending firework, something which Jaehyun had always loved about them, but he was still going to enjoy the small change. 

Unfortunately romantic moments were not meant to last. It didn’t take too long for Jaehyun to get cramps, only a little over an hour in the same position did the job for him. Jaehyun’s right shoulder hurt a little and his arm was going numb—but Doyoung looked so peaceful, the corner of his lips quirked a little like he was having a good dream, maybe about Jaehyun. Jaehyun sighed quietly. He was resigned to his fate, if he were to lose a limb then so be it. Jaehyun was about to close his eyes and get some sleep to ignore the tingling feeling in his limb when he felt Doyoung squirm in his hold. At the same time Jaehyun looked down, Doyoung’s eyes flipped open, his eyes a little red around the corners. It never failed to amuse Jaehyun how Doyoung always woke up with an immediate switch—one second he was deep in slumber and the next his eyes were wide open like a ventriloquist’s dummy. The first time Jaehyun had witnessed this, he was terrified, he thought maybe he had somehow found his way into bed with a pretty version of Slappy, but no, it was just one of Doyoung’s quirks.

“Are we in Busan yet?” Doyoung asked with a gruff voice. Jaehyun silently thanked the gods when Doyoung rose from his position to lean against the window instead.

“No, we still have an hour left,” Jaehyun said. His normal arm that didn’t feel like it was going to fall off reached out to hold Doyoung’s hand and stroke the gaps between his fingers. “Do you need anything?”

It was silent for a moment as Doyoung gathered the remaining bits of his soul. He looked a little confused by his surrounding, probably because this was the first time he had ever fallen asleep on a train. Jaehyun waited as Doyoung shifted in his seat, back against the window, and then intertwined their fingers. “Jae, my dearest, listen to me—” Doyoung stopped to yawn, and then he looked at Jaehyun with a serious expression—“when we meet Donghyun hyung, just do as I say, okay? No questions asked.”

“I’m sure it will be okay, your brother seems nice from the stories you told me,” Jaehyun said with confidence. “He’ll like me, I’m sure.”

“Yes, you’re a wonderful person and I would ride into battle against those who do dare to not agree, but still, Jaehyun, I need you to follow my lead no matter what,” Doyoung said. “Can you do that for me?”

Jaehyun thought he could do absolutely anything for Doyoung, even juggling four colourful balls while riding a unicycle. He was going to crack a joke about it, but Doyoung looked like he was in the middle of court hearing for the worst offence, his expression dead serious. Jaehyun felt the bad joke dancing around on the tip of his tongue and forced it back down his throat. He nodded, firm and also serious, his face mirroring his boyfriend’s. He didn’t realise Doyoung was nervous about introducing Jaehyun to his older brother. From the bits of stories Doyoung had told him, Jaehyun knew the Kim siblings got along well; their relationship was a bit like Tom and Jerry, the kind where it’s a constant pull and push. Still, regardless of the bickering, Jaehyun also knew that Doyoung had a long list of people that deserved something worse than coal, but Donghyun was on the other list—a very short list of people he could tolerate or maybe even liked. Jaehyun believed that he would get along with anyone on that list, he trusted Doyoung’s judgment.

“I promise I’ll do whatever you want,” Jaehyun said. He couldn’t wait to meet Kim Donghyun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello again! I might be back to edit this chapter. for now, enjoy.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: in my first draft of this chapter I named donghyun’s ex “stacy” bcs it sounded like a basic american white girl name to me and then I found out it was the name of an actual character in princess switch so that was definitely meant to be lmao anyway short update to keep it cute

Busan Central Station was bustling with people in colourful winter coats going their own way, and the overall vibe was a lot more vibrant, more Christmas-y and family-friendly compared to the dull seriousness of Seoul Station. Jaehyun decided that he liked the joyful spirit here, thought Santa would like that people seemed to be more excited about the holidays than the people back in Seoul. There were plenty of bright red and green decorations and twinkling fairy lights, though perhaps what stood out the most to Jaehyun were the neon pink birthday ads for ITZY’s Yuna plastered all over the tiled walls and pillars despite her birthday being days ago. Jaehyun refocused his gaze and followed Doyoung through the maze of hallways, his boyfriend walking in fast and light steps in typical Seoul-dweller fashion. Despite being born in Busan, Doyoung was a Seoul citizen through and through, no doubt about it.

“Hyung said he’s already here,” Doyoung said without turning his head towards Jaehyun.

“I hope he hasn’t been waiting for too long,” Jaehyun said.

“I hope he has, I hope he’s been here since the dawn of civilisation,” Doyoung’s grin was obvious in his voice. Jaehyun couldn’t help but smile too, he knew Doyoung liked making Donghyun’s life miserable. It was how their dynamic worked.

Kim Donghyun was vaping outside the main gate when Jaehyun and Doyoung approached him, their luggage wheels noisily scraping against the cobbled sidewalk wet with snow. The moment Donghyun turned around and made eye contact with Jaehyun for the first time, Jaehyun felt like the Earth had swallowed him whole and threw him back up in a strange alternate universe of Princess Switch 7: Electric Boogaloo. Doyoung and Donghyun looked a lot alike, they had the same strong killer gaze and similar shape of lips, and Jaehyun had to do a double take to notice the differences: Donghyun’s hair hadn’t quite grown out yet, still short in typical army crewcut, his lean but army-grade muscled arms obvious under his navy coat, and he was taller than the both of them. Kim Donghyun was a 183-centimetre hunk that looked like he could easily steal anyone’s heart—and maybe after this Doyoung would have to share Jaehyun’s heart too. Jaehyun was helpless as all nine of his souls floated out of his body. It was a surreal experience to watch himself watching Doyoung greet his brother from nine different angles. Was this the astral plane? Jaehyun wasn’t sure.

“Donghyun hyung,” Jaehyun heard Doyoung say in a whiny voice that was usually only reserved for him. “You look like Popeye.”

“Popeye doesn’t have hair, you little shit,” Donghyun said as he put away his vape though the smell of strawberry still lingered. Donghyun pulled Doyoung into a hug that looked more like he was strangling his younger brother in an octagon boxing ring than a loving brotherly gesture. “I see you’re still trying to be the Serena van der Woodsen you think you are.”

“Fuck you, hyung, I’m Blair Waldorf.”

For a while there was a fierce struggle between the siblings, Doyoung trying to squirm out of his brother’s grip only for Donghyun to squeeze him harder like he was trying to get some juice out of a dry lemon. “Get off of me you balding oaf,” Doyoung huffed, pushing against Donghyun with all his might, but his brother was an unmovable piece of handsome 183-centimetre obstacle. One of Jaehyun’s souls was cheering for Donghyun from where it was floating around, marvelling at how strong and how manly he was. Meanwhile, Doyoung stilled for a second, catching his breath, and then the squid-squirming resumed. “I can’t breathe—oh your God, I’m gonna call CPS on you.”

“As much as you act like a kindergartener, you’re literally a whole adult and menace to society,” Donghyun said, finally granting Doyoung some mercy and letting him go. Unfortunately for Doyoung, he was still not completely free from the gorilla grip. Donghyun held Doyoung’s shoulders, his grip so tight that Jaehyun was worried because he knew Doyoung bruised easily, but he couldn’t do anything because his body was rooted on the spot completely out of his control. “I’m glad you’re here. The Mothership has been worried sick, she thinks your spoiled ass might not survive taking public transportation.”

“Well, I’m here in one perfect piece, aren’t I? The train wasn’t so bad and the zombies didn’t get me,” Doyoung said. Realisation dawned on his face. He looked like he had just remembered something. Jaehyun watched as Doyoung turned around to look at his physical body. “Also—hyung, meet Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun was still as a wax figure at Madam Tussauds.

“Jung Jaehyun,” Doyoung’s hand on his arm finally snapped Jaehyun back into reality, each one of his souls coming back to his body in tiny electric jolts. “Are you alright?” Doyoung pulled Jaehyun one step closer. From this distance Donghyun looked even more impressive, a 183-centimetre majestic merman who traded his tail for a pair of endless strong feet. “Jae, this is Kim Donghyun, the older brother I never asked for and unfortunately couldn’t trade for one of the Weasley twins. Donghyun hyung, this is Jung Jaehyun who is clearly starstruck. Don’t worry, hyung, Jaehyun is usually not this much of a fool. We’ve known each other for a while.”

Jaehyun swallowed the lump in his throat and braced himself for impact—his fingers trembled a little as he shook Donghyun’s outstretched hand, completely in awe at how firm the other man’s hold was. “Jung Jaehyun. It’s, uh, nice to finally meet you,” Jaehyun said and realised how lame it was, though it was much better than _I adore you, you 183-centimetre flawless Michelangelo piece._

Donghyun’s face was dark and grim as though he had just been told his pet lamb got ran over by an eight-wheeler. “I’m so sorry to hear about the news,” Donghyun said completely serious.

No offence to Donghyun’s glorious 183-centimetre self, but Jaehyun was confused. He racked his brain trying to figure out what Donghyun meant. What was Donghyun apologising for? Was he sorry because Jaehyun was dating his little brother? Wasn’t that a little too harsh? Sure, Doyoung was high-maintenance, and he had his quirks like how he absolutely refused to touch anything with cucumbers in it, but he was also the loveliest person Jaehyun had ever met in his entire life. Jaehyun was about to voice his confusion, but then he saw The Signal: Doyoung’s eyes were wide, his gaze sharp, his lips pulled into a tight line. Donghyun was completely unaware of this because he had his back facing Doyoung, but Jaehyun immediately understood this look, it was one of the signature signs in their nonverbal communication. Doyoung was warning him, and Jaehyun reminded himself to follow along.

And so Jaehyun said, “Thank you, I guess—”

“I’m sure Jaehyun doesn’t want to talk about it right now, hyung,” Doyoung came to his rescue. Jaehyun gave him a grateful look because honestly he didn’t know what the fuck was happening and he didn’t want to seem even more of an idiot in front of Donghyun. Doyoung clung onto his brother’s arm and pouted. “Can we get to the car already? It’s starting to get cold.”

“That’s because you choose fashion over practicality,” Donghyun scolded his brother, but he looked fond. “Come on then, but pull your own luggage, Jaehyun isn’t your servant.”

Jaehyun was happy to serve Doyoung though. He pulled both his luggage and Doyoung’s without complaint and followed the two brothers to the parking lot. Donghyun drove a sleek black G-Class—specifically a G550—Jaehyun knew this bit of information because he had done a little research. He might or might not have stalked Donghyun’s Instagram and when he saw a glimpse of a familiar logo in one of Donghyun’s posts, Jaehyun googled pictures of various Mercedes to find which one he had. He learned this particular skill from Sith Master Sicheng. Jaehyun thought Donghyun’s car suited him, it was big and manly just like him. Although Donghyun’s personal taste wasn’t as flashy as his younger brother who loved to shower in luxury and dressed like he was a gothic Upper East Sider, it was still very much obvious that he came from old money. Jaehyun couldn’t tell what brand Donghyun’s bomber jacket was, but the price tag was probably over the few hundred dollars range.

“I’m riding shotgun!” Doyoung suddenly shouted and ran towards the car. Doyoung was honestly a bad runner, his form was all wrong (“I’m too pretty for the gym,” Doyoung had said every time Jaehyun tried to take him to exercise), but Jaehyun still smiled at his antics.

“Don’t scratch Leon,” Donghyun grumbled in annoyance, prying Doyoung’s manicured hand away from trying to open the car door that was still locked. It took two and half seconds too late for Jaehyun to realise Donghyun named his car. He swallowed down the laughter, he didn’t want to offend Donghyun.

Jaehyun let Donghyun help him put the luggages in the car and once they were safely stored, he climbed into the backseat. Donghyun announced that it would take them about twenty minutes to the house and Jaehyun could just sleep for a bit if he wanted to. “I’m sure Doyoung’s snoring was so loud that you couldn’t sleep on the train,” Donghyun said as he pulled out of the parking lot. “Doyoung has always been like that, the moment he gets into a moving vehicle he’ll be out within minutes.”

“I’m fine,” Jaehyun said. “Doyoung was drooling a little, but I don’t mind.”

“Excuse you,” Doyoung whipped his head around to glare at Jaehyun. “If you talk shit about me once more I will kick you both out of this moving vehicle.”

Neither Jaehyun nor Donghyun was scared of this little threat. To them Doyoung was just a baby rabbit that couldn’t harm anything, not even with his knife collection. “This is my baby, so you play by my rules,” Donghyun said referring to Leon. Jaehyun realised their love for their respective car was one of the things the Kim siblings had in common. Jaehyun couldn’t relate, he drove a regular Hyundai and had no attachment issues, so he listened to the conversation between them in silence. “Anyway, mother is going all out with the decoration this Christmas, it’s almost like she recently found Jesus or something.”

“Maybe she has finally seen the light, God bless her soul,” Doyoung said, which was funny because Doyoung was the biggest sinner Jaehyun knew, at least when it came to lust. He wasn’t going to mention it in front of Donghyun though, that was only for the two of them to know. “How is our lovely father? I was worried his stupid yacht didn’t make it through the storm.”

Right. How could Jaehyun forget? Doyoung’s family owned an actual yacht—something that was trivial to them but completely out of Jaehyun’s reach. The yacht was named _Seaduction_ , a dad-joke-grade pun that Jaehyun appreciated. Sure, Mr. Kim was filthy rich and could probably buy Jaehyun’s entire life, but at least he had a common human sense of humour and somehow that put Jaehyun at ease. Jokes like that made him feel less out of place. And honestly, back then Jaehyun wouldn’t even think about this kind of thing, expensive cars and yachts belonged in movies like The Wolf of Wall Street—and now, look at him, he was dating a real life Blair Waldorf. Jaehyun almost couldn’t believe where fate had brought him to, he thought he might as well try his luck in a casino now (but of course he couldn’t, because it was illegal and he was a good citizen).

“Don’t mention the incident in front of mother,” Donghyun said, a warning. Jaehyun didn’t know the full story, he just heard from Doyoung that his parents were stuck in the middle of the ocean with a huge storm brewing in the horizon just a month ago. It didn’t end tragically like Titanic, thank God, but Mrs. Kim was still rattled. “She was so terrified that her hair almost turned back to black. Father was delighted to know that she was glad to fulfil their wedding vow though, _til death do us apart,_ and all that jazz _._ ”

“You know, people always say broken homes are difficult,” Doyoung mulled, his voice dreamy, “But a charmed marriage could also pose its own challenges. Imagine growing up and witnessing our parents be lovey-dovey every day and then expecting that kind of fated love for ourselves too. A happily ever after is almost a one in a billion chance.”

Doyoung was right, of course he was. He didn’t have to worry though, because Jaehyun was sure the love they had for each other was meant to be. Maybe their love had not yet stood against the test of time like the love Doyoung and Donghyun’s parents had—but it could be. Jaehyun had faith in himself and in Doyoung. Their relationship would continue to bloom like the prettiest rose.

“Let’s not talk about sappy shit,” Donghyun said, completely ignoring Doyoung’s wise words. “I’ve had enough of lovesick couples this holiday season.”

“What about that American girl you liked—Stephanie?” Doyoung asked.

“Her name is Stacy,” Donghyun corrected him.

“That’s even worse," Doyoung made a gagging sound.

“Well, it doesn’t matter now. She didn’t want to wait for me,” Donghyun said bitterly. “She said two years were too long even though she said that when I was already in the army for over a year. She said anything could happen and she didn’t have the patience. Last I heard she found someone else who could be her bodyguard twenty-four hours a day. Honestly though, it’s her loss, I got more buff and refined during my time in the army.”

“Sure, you did. You look amazing, hyung, your newly-acquired muscles are so—firm and tough, I guess,” Doyoung sounded like he wanted to say something sassy about the situation, but maybe it wasn’t the right time to joke around. Donghyun was only 27, still very young, but Jaehyun knew from Doyoung that he wanted to settle down soon. Unfortunately his luck in love was not good as his brother’s and Stacy was not the right Stacy to his Prince Edward. “Stacy’s Korean is abysmal anyway, and her vocal fry hurts my ears, she sounds like a wannabe Kardashian.”

Donghyun laughed at this. “Your shit-talking is appreciated this time.”

“I always got your back, hyung,” Doyoung said seriously. “If someone breaks your heart again, I will duel them to death. Stacy’s terrible wig won’t survive next time.”

“That’s my job as your older brother, Doyoung,” Donghyun said just as serious. “If anyone dares to hurt you I won’t hesitate to teach them a life-ending lesson.”

Jaehyun didn’t know if Donghyun was purposefully saying this out loud for him to hear, but yes, Jaehyun heard this threat loud and clear. He would never get on Donghyun’s bad side, not only because he knew he would die as a result, but mostly because he would never in a million years disappoint Doyoung. He didn’t say anything though, because he was content to just listen as the two of them spoke. Jaehyun was an only child, he didn’t have moments like this growing up. Despite the bickering Doyoung and Donghyun obviously had a lot of love and respect for each other and knowing that Doyoung had someone to protect him calmed Jaehyun’s nerves. He slumped against the backseat and enjoyed the view of Busan.


	4. Chapter 4

Despite the already sky-high expectations, Jaehyun was still not prepared at all for what he was about to see when Donghyun’s car drove past the main gate where two security guards were on standby. The fact that they had security guards wasn't shocking, but the house was. It seemed like Jaehyun didn’t quite understand the amount of wealth that the Kim family had acquired throughout the years, and now he felt like a fool because, seriously, if—according to none other than Sicheng and his endless wit—Doyoung’s apartment was straight out of Architectural Digest, then his parents’ house was basically the goddamn Buckingham Palace. Jaehyun couldn’t help but cower in the backseat, suddenly hyperaware of his reindeer sweater, his messy blond hair, and his plebeian non-Gucci sneakers. He looked at his Casper-like reflection on the rearview and thought, _fuck, I am the pauper to Doyoung’s prince_.

“Jaehyun, close your mouth,” Doyoung said when he saw Jaehyun staring in shock. The two of them were out of the car while Donghyun was talking to one of the house staff. Jaehyun, still with his mouth wide open, watched as Donghyun handed over his keys and walked ahead of them. Doyoung snapped his fingers impatiently in front of Jaehyun’s face. “Jae, get a grip. Let the maids take care of our luggage, you can come with us. Their Majesties are waiting.”

“What—” Jaehyun wasn’t sure if Doyoung was joking—“Is there a throne? Do they wear bejewelled gold crowns? Do I call them Your Highness? What do I do?”

“Sweet Satan Almighty,” Doyoung groaned, pulling Jaehyun by the arm towards the huge front doors, the touch almost like an electric shock on Jaehyun’s sweaty skin. Jaehyun felt like he was going to hyperventilate as he nearly tripped over his own feet trying to follow Doyoung. Doyoung heard him gasping for air like a fish out of fresh water and stopped walking only to groan again. “Just act like a normal person, it’s not that difficult.”

But of course it was. Doyoung’s family’s house turned out to be more of a sprawling mansion than a normal suburban house. The main building was unbelievably huge with several marbled pillars and more windows than Jaehyun could count. There was even a big circular fountain with a sculpture that looked like a baby angel (maybe a version of Cupid?) in the middle, the water sparkling brighter than actual holy water. Parked to the side of the left wing were several luxury cars, one of them Jaehyun identified as a Rolls-Royce Phantom with a price tag that would put Leon to shame. And the staff—there were plenty, all of them wearing pressed black uniform with a gold name tag: Jinah, Chunghee, Kyungho were only a few that Jaehyun could read. They all bowed a full ninety degree like it was protocol and made Jaehyun not know how to act. _Some people actually live like this,_ Jaehyun thought. How was an ordinary man like Jaehyun—who dutifully praised the Lord when he found a crumpled bill in his jeans pocket—supposed to act?

Inside the architecture was no less impressive. The moment Jaehyun looked around the main hallway, he was once again in disbelief at how marvellous every small detail of the interior design was. Jaehyun was going a little cross-eyed trying to take in everything—and there was _a lot_ to see, so much marble and expensive Renaissance paintings and antique vases. When Jaehyun looked up the ceiling was decorated with crystal chandeliers and it was so high he swore he could almost see the pearly gates. The overall royalty vibes were further enhanced by the festive Christmas decorations. It was a whimsical winter wonderland at the Kims’ residence; smack dab in the middle was a nine-feet tree covered in fake snow and blue and silver tinsel, various glimmering ornaments hanging off of the branches. Standing tall guarding the tree was a life-sized nutcracker soldier holding a big sword, its eyes so life-like that it was bordering on unsettling. Maybe at night it would turn into a real Prince, Jaehyun thought as he looked closer at the two reindeers next to the soldier. He tried his best to keep his hands glued to his side in fear of accidentally breaking something and having to pay for it with the price of his head on a spike. In addition to his forgetfulness, Jaehyun could be also be a little clumsy and he didn’t want to leave a bad first impression, especially when Doyoung called his own parents ‘their majesties’. Jaehyun stared at the back of Doyoung’s beautiful skull and prayed he wouldn’t make a fool of himself.

“Doyoung, how rich is your family exactly?” Jaehyun said, amazed.

“Not enough, mother should’ve offered something else for the sacrifice ritual,” Doyoung said.

“What ritual—are you guys in a cult?” Jaehyun wasn’t sure if Doyoung was joking or not, though it wouldn’t surprise him at all. Rich people are always doing the weirdest shit.

Unfortunately, Jaehyun didn’t get to find out about the cult because then someone—a lady, probably in her early 50s, appeared before them almost like an apparition. Jaehyun was stunned to see her, she reminded him of the White Witch if she wasn’t evil.

“Oh my, oh my,” the woman with long silver hair sung as she walked towards them with arms reached out, graceful like a swan, her white robe flowing behind her petite figure. Doyoung let go of Jaehyun’s arm and let himself be pulled into her embrace. “Look at you, my beautiful little gothic pixie, how wonderful that you made it here in one piece after what certainly was a gruelling four-hour mechanical carriage ride.”

“Don’t be dramatic, mother, I was on the train for barely three hours,” Doyoung said and then their cheeks kissed each other three times, right, left, right. “As I told you, I brought Jaehyun with me.”

Jaehyun realised they were both looking at him now, so he forced his mind to stop wondering about whether or not Mrs. Kim’s gleaming silver hair was natural or dyed. He was about to do a weird version of a curtsy, but Doyoung immediately stopped him, so Jaehyun bowed politely instead.

“Ah, Jaehyun of the Jung family,” Mrs. Kim said, her light fairy-like voice a little more serious as she shook Jaehyun’s hand. Jaehyun thought her hand was colder than normal human beings, but maybe it was just the diamond rings adorning her frail fingers—and once Jaehyun realised the rings, he also realised that Mrs. Kim was practically dripping in diamonds. “I trust that you took great care of my son during the trip from the capital. My dearest Doyoung could be quite a handful sometimes.”

“Not at all, I enjoy spending time with Doyoung,” Jaehyun said honestly.

“My, my, you’re so soft-spoken and polite, how lovely,” Mrs. Kim said which flattered Jaehyun even though to be completely honest his soft voice was mostly because he was nervous as hell.

Before Mrs. Kim could compliment him some more, another figure walked towards them, the heavy steps echoing through the room. Jaehyun tried to swallow down the ball of nerves as subtle as he could and forced himself to stand straight. This tall, imposing man with a thick grey moustache that looked like it took years to groom was obviously Mr. Kim, Doyoung’s dad, a renowned plastic surgeon and owner of several beauty clinics. Jaehyun had looked him up online—there were pages and pages of results—and although Mr. Kim was known for his masterful work and ability to turn around someone’s life, Jaehyun was sure that none of it could ever beat Doyoung’s natural beauty.

“Darling, this is Jaehyun, the only son of the Jung family,” Mrs. Kim said that made Jaehyun wonder how much Doyoung had told his mum. Mrs. Kim put a hand on her husband’s forearm, softly guiding him closer. “Jaehyun, my dear, this is my beloved husband and Doyoung’s father.”

Jaehyun bowed again, this time a little deeper and longer. When he stood back straight up, Mr. Kim offered him a formal handshake. As Jaehyun took it, he could immediately tell where Donghyun got his firm hold from. “Thank you for having me, Mr. and Mrs. Kim,” Jaehyun said, trying to find a way to not sound like a bad imitation of Queen Elizabeth. Mrs. Kim’s aristocrat way of speaking was already rubbing off on him. “You have a very nice house—and a very nice, uh, son. Doyoung, I mean—but also Donghyun, yeah, he’s nice too. Very nice.”

“What Jaehyun means is that he’s glad to be here after, you know, everything,” Doyoung said and Jaehyun nodded along although he didn’t quite get it.

To Jaehyun’s bewilderment, Mrs. Kim reached out to him and pulled him into a hug that was both comforting and confusing. “Oh, you poor thing,” she sniffed and for one funny second Jaehyun thought she was on the verge of crying. When Mrs. Kim pulled back, Jaehyun was even more bewildered, because she _did_ look like she was about to cry.

“I’m so sorry to hear about the terrible news, son, I’m sure you have had an awful time,” it was Mr. Kim’s turn to make Jaehyun even more confused.

Jaehyun looked at Doyoung for help, but his boyfriend just gave him The Signal. “I’m okay now—I suppose—I mean, I guess,” Jaehyun said uncertainly. Doyoung was still looking at him with the same expression, so Jaehyun shrugged a little.

Mrs. Kim wiped her wet eyes with a white embroidered handkerchief that came out of nowhere like a magic trick while Mr. Kim stroked her arm to comfort her. Jaehyun was beginning to see why Doyoung had described his parents’ relationship the way he did; the Kim spouses looked very much like the perfect picture couple, they both had this aura of elegance and the blessings of an everlasting love for each other. Jaehyun could only wish for the same with Doyoung.

“My sincere apologies for getting a teensy bit emotional,” Mrs. Kim said with a smile, her teeth so white she could be a star in a toothpaste commercial. “I am certain that you two are exhausted, however, tea will be ready in a few. Doyoung, go change your clothes to something a little more appropriate, will you? A little powder would also help. And Jaehyun, dear, one of the maids will show you the way to your room upstairs.”

“But mother—” Doyoung started to complain.

“No more whining, Doyoung,” Mr. Kim cut his youngest son off before he could put on his best puppy face. “Listen to your mother and behave in front of our guest.”

Like another magic trick, one of the house staff was suddenly standing just two steps away from Jaehyun, ready to serve. Her name tag said her name was Jangmi. Jaehyun didn’t know what to do nor how to interact with the staff, so he offered her a smile—and got nothing in return. Jangmi was like a robot as she talked to Jaehyun, saying in the most formal tone, “Let me show you the bedroom, Mr. Jung.”

Jaehyun quietly praised the Lord for blessing certain people with the talent and eye for design as he followed Jangmi up the curved stairs and through confusing hallways lined with photos of what he guessed were generations of the Kim family. It seemed to take an eternity for them to finally arrive. One of the guest bedrooms Jangmi led him to was spacious enough for Jaehyun and Sicheng and their four friends to play dodgeball in it. Jaehyun felt like Belle in Beauty and the Beast as he looked around the room, he thought if the furniture started talking it wouldn’t surprise him at all. The king-sized bed and the frame were surely a custom work because Jaehyun had never seen that type of wood before. On the corner was a vanity so pretty Jaehyun thought about bringing it back home—though it would look out of place in his humble abode. Jaehyun stopped in the middle of the room and decided to explore it later because right now it was honestly a sensory overload.

Jaehyun turned around to thank Jangmi—and maybe give her a tip like he would at an expensive hotel, he wasn’t sure about crazy rich people etiquette—but she was already gone like the wind. Jaehyun decided he could try to find her later. Right now, what he didn’t understand was: why did he have his own bedroom when Doyoung’s bedroom was probably somewhere down the hall? Was it forbidden for an unmarried couple to share a room in this version of Buckingham? And then another thought popped up in his mind like a big red balloon: did he miss it or did Doyoung not introduce him as his boyfriend at all? No, Doyoung didn’t, he was sure—not to Donghyun, and definitely not to his parents.

Regardless, it was decided, Jaehyun was going to find Doyoung. He walked out the wide open door and was faced with two options: left or right. He paused, thinking hard. Left or right? He looked down at the reindeer on his sweater and got no help at all, Rudolph was just staring back at him with blank eyes. If he had to find the right way, he would have take the right way. That made sense, right? Well, kind of. It didn’t really matter, Jaehyun could definitely find his way back and try the other way if he got lost. And so he turned right and walked down the hallway with careful steps and gaze straight forward, completely avoiding the judgemental eyes on the framed photos on the wall. It took a few wrong turns for Jaehyun to finally find what he thought was the door to Doyoung’s bedroom. It had to be this one, Jaehyun thought as he stared a the yellow ‘NO GIRLS’ sign on the big white door.

Jaehyun only had to knock twice before the door swung open, revealing an even bigger bedroom that looked like it belonged to a younger version of Doyoung. This Doyoung in the present had switched his red ruffled shirt for a pastel pink button up, though the e-boy necklace was still hanging around his neck. He looked like a pastel goth and Jaehyun felt himself fall in love with him a little more. Doyoung was truly a dream—but Jaehyun was here for something more pressing. He steeled his heart and walked in.

“Doyoung, what the fuck is happening?” Jaehyun tried to contain the panic, but it was already out in the open. He walked towards Doyoung and then around the vast open space between the bed and two doors that probably led to an ensuite and a walk-in closet.

“What could you possibly mean?” Doyoung asked innocently, but he was wringing his hands, a clear sign of uneasiness.

Jaehyun wasn’t playing around, not right now. “Why do I get my own bedroom and so far away from yours? I had to find my own way here, it was very confusing. Do they—your parents, your brother Donghyun, everyone—do they even know I’m your boyfriend? And what’s with the sorry look on everyone’s face? Even the staff were looking at me like I was a charity case—”

“That’s because they think you are—kind of,” Doyoung said, his face contorted into a grimace.

“What?” Jaehyun stopped pacing around. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t get mad at me,” Doyoung pleaded, his eyes a little misty already and Jaehyun was weak, so weak, but he still needed to know. He approached Doyoung carefully, afraid that his boyfriend might get spooked and flee. “I didn’t—I haven’t told anyone that we’re dating, not even Donghyun hyung, so none of them know about us—and also, uh, I kind of told maybe my parents and Donghyun hyung that you’re an orphan, I told them that your parents died recently and you were lonely and sad, that’s why they insisted that I bring you here for the holidays.”

“Doyoung, what in the ever-loving hell?”

“I panicked when my mother called and we just finished that third round of sex and you were in the bathroom peeing because it was good hygiene or whatever, and honestly it was _your_ fault for fucking me so good I didn’t know which way was up, so I blurted out the first thing that crossed my mind because we just watched that stupid Kristen Stewart movie—”

“What—”

“Please, Jaehyun, I’m really sorry, it’s just that I haven’t even come out to my family—”

“You what—”

“They don’t know that I like boys or that I think heterosexuality is gross or that I like being fucked—

“Doyoung.”

“—hard all the way through Sunday or that I really, really like kissing you a lot or—”

“Doyoung.”

Jaehyun took several deep breaths when Doyoung started to cry for real, fat tears rolling down his reddened cheeks. Jaehyun’s mind was spinning too fast. Now everything made sense: the weird cryptic _do as I say_ command, the look on their faces, the condolences. Jaehyun wanted to laugh, he couldn’t believe the situation they were in because it was all honestly too ridiculous, straight out of a romantic comedy with an open ending or maybe a reverse pretend relationship fanfiction—but that wasn’t the most urgent thing because Doyoung was clearly in distress and he needed Jaehyun. So Jaehyun regained his composure and carefully held Doyoung’s arms to ground him. “Doyoung, my love, I need you to breathe slowly, okay?”

Doyoung nodded frantically and then after a few gasps, he slowly took a few deep breaths just as Jaehyun had instructed. Jaehyun kept his hands on Doyoung’s arms, guiding him, encouraging him. His heart broke a little when he realised that Doyoung was avoiding his eyes like a scared kid. “Please don’t get mad at me, Jaehyun,” Doyoung whispered between tiny hiccups.

Jaehyun sighed. He didn’t quite know what to think about this. What could he do now? He already came all the way to Busan and in spite of everything, he still wanted to spend the holidays with Doyoung. But all of that seemed trivial compared to the fact that Doyoung was still in the closet. Maybe Doyoung felt like he wasn’t ready to break the news, maybe Mr and Mrs. Kim were a lot more conservative like stereotypical wealthy Republicans—Jaehyun honestly didn’t want to think of the worst scenarios about Doyoung’s family, but there must be a good reason why Doyoung still hadn’t come out to them. No matter how much it pained Jaehyun, how much he wanted everyone to know that Doyoung was his, Doyoung’s sexuality was still something very personal to him and it was up to him to decide when to tell other people, including his own parents and brother. Jaehyun took another deep breath, and then held Doyoung’s chin, slowly lifting his tear-stained face to look at him.

“Doyoung, the light of my otherwise bleak ordinary life,” Jaehyun said softly, wiping the tears and the snot away. “I’m not mad at you, I was just confused because you didn’t tell me what was going on—and now that I know, it’s okay, I’m still glad that you finally told me. But now you have to tell me what you want to do with this situation, and as I promised before I will do as you say.”

“I just—” another hiccup—“I’m not ready to tell them, not yet. I know it’s dumb, I’m 25 years young and still in the fucking closet but it is what it is. And I’m really sorry. I’m scared, Jae, so can we please pretend to just be friends for now? I will tell them the truth soon—one day. I promise.”

“Okay,” Jaehyun nodded. “We can do that, anything as long as you’re comfortable. This is your own house and I know the both of us want to have a happy Christmas with your family, so yes, we can just be friends—or at least pretend to be. Don’t cry anymore, okay? I’m not mad at you at all. Thank you for being honest with me, my love.”

“Thank you, I love you,” Doyoung said between sniffs, finally looking at Jaehyun.

Jaehyun smiled genuinely and hoped that Doyoung truly understood that Jaehyun could never be angry at him. One look at Doyoung and Jaehyun knew he could be anything Doyoung wanted him to be and that there was nothing he wouldn’t do for Doyoung, including hiding their relationship from everyone. For now, there was no one else in the room, so Jaehyun leaned down to kiss Doyoung’s forehead, whispering, “No matter what, I love you to bits, Kim Doyoung.”


	5. Chapter 5

They were over fifteen minutes late to tea time because Doyoung needed a little more time to stop crying and afterwards he was still too upset, so Jaehyun had to lead the way—which was a total disaster, they had to loop around a few times to find the right way. Once Jaehyun had gotten over the initial culture shock, he noticed that Donghyun was right, Mrs. Kim spared no expense for the decorations throughout the house. Jaehyun had only seen decorations so grand from the Christmas episodes of Keeping Up The Kardashians, not that he would admit to watching it for the petty drama. Jaehyun was looking left and right, trying to decide where to go, when something collided with his legs—

“Oh, grandma’s sweet potato pie!” Jaehyun shouted, nearly tripping if not for Doyoung grabbing his arm and steadying him. When he looked down to see what or who just ran into him, bright blue doe eyes stared back at him. Jaehyun had to do a double take to be sure of what he was seeing: a little girl with dirty blond pigtails wearing a baby pink dress and fake Mariposa wings. “What are you—”

“Chanmi,” Doyoung said, firm. “Don’t be rude, where’s your greeting?”

The little girl—Chanmi—giggled loudly, eyes shaped into crescents, and then she bowed politely to Jaehyun with a little stumble. When she stood back up, she giggled again. “My name is Kim Chanmi and I’m six years old. Doyoungie is my oppa even though he’s kind of scary and looks like this character I saw in that creepy movie with the walking hand—”

“You mean the Addams Family?” Jaehyun guessed.

“Yeah, my babysitter let me watch it, but don’t tell mama, okay?” Chanmi pleaded.

“I won’t, your secret is always safe with me, Chanmi,” Jaehyun promised. “And yeah, you’re right, Doyoung is definitely Wednesday Addams.”

“Yes, yes, Wednesday! That’s Doyoungie oppa,” Chanmi cheered. “You’re so handsome. It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Ken.”

Mr. Ken?

“She’s obsessed with Life in the Dreamhouse, thinks every boy with blond hair is Ken,” Doyoung explained when he saw Jaehyun’s flustered face. “Just play along, she’ll love you.”

Jaehyun bent forward a little so Chanmi could see his charming pearly white smile. “Hello, Chanmi,” he waved at the little girl. Jaehyun liked kids and he was naturally good with them if he said so himself. He took pride in the fact that any kid would like him in an instant. “You can call me Jaehyun oppa—or Mr. Ken is also okay. You can be Barbie.”

“But I don’t want to be Barbie,” Chanmi whined not unlike Doyoung. “I’m Chelsea.”

“Okay then, you can be Chelsea. I’m Ken, Doyoungie oppa is Barbie, and this is the Dreamhouse,” Jaehyun said, still with a smile.

Chanmi was happy with this arrangement, obvious from the way she smiled so bright, but before Jaehyun could pat her head or maybe even hug her, she was already running elsewhere, her sparkly pink wings fluttering on her small back. Jaehyun turned his attention to Doyoung and saw that his boyfriend wasn’t amused at all. He looked like Chanmi just stole his Ken doll, chopped its head off, and threw it in the garbage. “What’s your problem, little fairy?” Jaehyun poked Doyoung’s nose.

“Why am I Barbie? Why can’t I be Raquelle?” Doyoung protested.

“I have no idea who that is, Doyoung, I don’t watch Barbie because you don’t want to watch it with me,” Jaehyun said. “Chanmi is cute though, she resembles you a lot, like a bunny. I like her already.”

Doyoung’s frown deepened. “Me? Cute?”

“Yes, you are, my baby bunny,” Jaehyun was teasing, he knew Doyoung preferred to be called hot or maybe extremely hot. “What’s your beef with Chanmi though? She seems like a blast, and she thinks you’re pretty.”

Doyoung sighed. “I’m just not too fond of kids, they’re like dirty little gremlins.”

“Isn’t Chanmi your cousin though?”

“Germs are still germs, Jaehyun,” Doyoung said. “Let’s go, I’m sure mother is waiting.”

This time Doyoung led the way so they wouldn’t get lost and waste more time. It took what felt like forever to find the tea room, which was a spacious open space with a huge glass dome. There were various exotic plants and colourful flowers that Jaehyun couldn’t even begin to identify, he only recognised the red and pink and white roses. Jaehyun would guess that this was Mrs. Kim's favourite spot in the house. When they arrived, the table was ready and everyone was already seated. Jaehyun tried to keep his mouth shut as he continued to be amazed by how fairytale-like everything was in this mansion. Tea time, as it turned out, was less British royalty and more like a Christmas version of The Mad Tea Party. Jaehyun felt self-conscious when he saw that Mrs. Kim was wearing a bright pink flower dress and a matching funny hat. His Rudolph sweater was definitely not appropriate for the event.

“Glad to have you joining us, my dear,” Mrs. Kim said, greeting Doyoung with cheek kisses again. “Jaehyun, let me introduce you to my sister.”

Only now that Jaehyun realised there were two other people he hadn’t met. The woman looked a few years younger than Mrs. Kim though still as intimidatingly elegant, her jet black waves seemed to have their own flow in time and she was wearing a soft blue dress that looked like a grown up version of Alice’s iconic dress from the movie. “Kim Areum, but please call me Aunt Areum,” she offered a hand for Jaehyun to shake. Next to her was a tall burly white man with thick blond hair that made Jaehyun’s own dyed locks look so unnatural. Looking at this tank of a man, it was clear that Chanmi inherited her blue eyes and blonde hair from her father. “This is my husband, Robert Roberts, he’s an art curator.”

Jaehyun was dangerously close to letting out an ugly snort when he heard the name. Doyoung’s family just couldn’t be normal, could they? “I’m Jung Jaehyun, Doyoung’s friend from Seoul. It’s nice to meet you both,” he said instead, shaking Robert Roberts’ hairy hand. “I ran into Chanmi just now, or more like she ran into me, your daughter is very cute.”

“Did she call you Ken?” Aunt Areum’s eyes flickered towards Jaehyun’s blond hair.

“Yeah, she did, that little pink rascal,” Doyoung answered for him. “Jaehyun doesn’t mind though, he dyed his hair specifically for a Ken cosplay.”

“Oh, Doyoung, you little minx,” Aunt Areum giggled quietly behind her hand. The sound was almost identical to Chanmi’s laughter. “Your sense of humour never fails to make amuse me.”

“Well, at least one person appreciates my jokes around here,” Doyoung grumbled as he took a seat next to her mother. Jaehyun didn’t know where to go so he took the safe option and sat next to Doyoung. Doyoung folded his hands on the table. “Can we begin so we can quickly end this?”

“Patience, my dear,” Mrs. Kim patted her youngest son’s hand lovingly. She twisted a little in her seat to look at Donghyun who was busy snapping pictures of the various succulents on one side of the dome. Jaehyun would guess it was because some of them looked too phallic not to take pictures of, maybe send them to a friend or two. “Donghyun, will you please leave the poor succulents alone and sit down? I’m afraid they might wither and die if you keep shoving a camera onto them.”

As soon as Donghyun took a seat next to his father, Mrs. Kim took her time to express her gratitude for being surrounded by a loving family, for the abundance of wealth that allowed them to own a yacht and a glass dome this huge, and for finally finding the Harry Winston necklace that she thought she lost. “In the name of everything that is dark and haunting, I thank the Lord below for condemning our prideful family with endless riches,” Jaehyun heard Doyoung whispered, his fingers crossed. They made eye contact for a short second before Jaehyun closed his eyes and uttered a proper prayer to the _real_ God above. He was not about to let Lucifer win the battle for humankind.

Despite the vibrant decoration, the thematic costumes, and the colourful ceramics, Jaehyun soon found out that tea time at the Kims’ residence was more of a diplomatic affair than anything else. Jaehyun sipped his boiling tea, intently listening as the Kim family debated art and literature, particularly the debate as old as time about whether written or visual art was better in documenting history and conveying ideas. Doyoung, the fierce literary publicist everyone loved to fear, was insistent on his argument that written words were a lot more accurate and detailed in describing a historic moment whereas visual media often took more liberties. Robert Roberts—Jaehyun held back another snort—who took pride in his work as a well-regarded art curator with more years of experience under his belt than Doyoung’s entire life combined was on the opposing team. Doyoung, the undefeated little Themyscira warrior, would not back down while Jaehyun quietly cheered for his boyfriend despite not giving a single fuck about this. Jaehyun had no strong opinion about art nor literature in any form—in fact Jaehyun didn’t really have an opinion on it at all. He was content with reading questionable Spideypool fan fictions on AO3.

The debate went on and on and on that Jaehyun felt like he was at a round table conference even though the table wasn’t actually circular, it was a rectangle. The staff waiting by the door also looked like they were going to fall asleep on their feet. Jaehyun pitied them, but he thought working in a palace like this must pay a lot of money. Jaehyun didn’t know, but he let his mind wonder to pass the slow-moving time until finally—fucking finally, Mrs. Kim put a stop to it with both palms up as though surrendering.

“Let’s not scare the guest with our petty argument, shall we?” Mrs. Kim said.

“But it’s not at all petty, mother, you see—”

“Enough, Doyoung,” Mr. Kim cut Doyoung off. “Let’s give our guest a chance to speak.”

To be completely frank, Jaehyun was content to just stay silent and witness the chaos. “It’s okay, I like listening Doyoung express his thoughts, he’s very opinionated,” Jaehyun said.

“This is about you, my dear,” Mrs. Kim smiled. “How is the current situation at home with both your parents gone? I can’t imagine the pain you’ve been going through.”

“Oh, you poor thing,” Aunt Areum flicked a single tear away with her manicured index finger. Next to her Robert Roberts looked concerned.

Jaehyun gulped. “Right, yeah, my parents—”

“Mother, seriously, this isn’t a Batman reboot, why don’t we skip talking about that?” Doyoung intervened to Jaehyun’s relief. Jaehyun was honest to God the worst liar, one time he tried to surprise Doyoung with a sexy gift and ended up getting surprised himself when Doyoung revealed that he was already wearing the sexy lingerie (Jaehyun’s gift) underneath his Chanel tweed jacket. “There’s a lot about Jaehyun you can ask about, so please, find something else to talk about so he won’t be upset.”

“Alright, yes, you are right, my apology, Jaehyun,” Mrs. Kim said. “What about your love life then? Doyoung told me that you’ve been single and lonely, but he can be quite dense. So, any special lady friend you might want to—what do kids these days refer to it as? Fornicate with?”

“For the hatred of Satan—mother!” Doyoung gasped, so beyond offended as though he was God’s innocent little lamb.

“It’s okay, Doie—Doyoung,” Jaehyun laughed nervously. He dared himself to look around the room and saw that all eyes were on him full of expectations. Even Donghyun looked intrigued if not only for the violence unfolding before him. “There is indeed someone special for me.”

“Ah, young love,” Aunt Areum dramatically put a hand over her chest. “She must be a lovely lady for you to be interested in her. Do tell us more.”

“Well, I started to realise this person meant a lot to me back a little before Valentine’s Day this year,” Jaehyun began his totally true story. “Of course, I knew I was already in love with this person way before that, and I’m ashamed to say that it took me a while to find courage to say it out loud. I was too hesitant to admit my true feelings because, honestly, this person is just so out of my league, so ethereal and so, so—perfect for me. And then I realised this person deserves to know that somebody loves them the way I do. I couldn’t hold it back anymore. Something about this person, God, they just continuously draw me in, and I never want to stop creating new memories, discovering and experiencing new things, and feeling all sorts of emotions I never thought I was capable of. There’s never a dull moment when I’m with him—her—them.”

Jaehyun didn’t realise he was babbling until he stumbled over the correct pronouns. Everyone—except Doyoung who was looking up at the glass dome and Donghyun who looked lost—practically had heart eyes which made Jaehyun flush in embarrassment. Both Mrs. Kim and her sister were, again, teary-eyed and in an identical pose with their palm over their heart.

“This person must be wonderful, son, and you two sound like the perfect match for each other. I’m sure it doesn’t need to be said, but you must cherish them for as long as you heart is capable of,” Mr. Kim said with an approving nod.

“I will, Mr. Kim. My love for this—person is very much rooted deep in my heart and it’s never going to wither,” Jaehyun said.

“Alright,” Doyoung said. Jaehyun realised his boyfriend was completely red from the neck up. “I’m sorry for raining down on the lovey-dovey sappy party, but this is Christmas after all and Jaehyun won’t be staying for too long so—I want to show him around Busan, maybe grab something real to eat other than these tiny sandwiches with cucumber in them.”

“Doyoung, don’t be rude to our guest,” Mrs. Kim warned him.

“It’s okay, Mrs. Kim, ma’am, Doyoung is right,” Jaehyun said. “It will be nice to see more of Busan while I’m here, so if you would excuse us—”

Mrs. Kim sighed softly. “Of course, of course, you two can go ahead. Take Donghyun’s car, I’m sure he doesn’t mind. Promise me you will be back before supper, understood?”

“Okay, mother,” Doyoung was already on his feet, so Jaehyun stood up as well, dusting off the crumbs on his wrinkled jeans. “Thanks for letting me drive your car, big bro. I’ll take good care of Leon, so don’t worry.”

Donghyun looked like he was going to protest against this outrageous idea, Leon was his baby, but Doyoung was already walking out of the room with his back stiffly upright—so Jaehyun awkwardly bowed at everyone and followed his (secret) boyfriend.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spot the tiny tangled reference haha

“Jaehyun, I love you and your enthusiasm, but I need you to be a better liar and stop spoiling this relationship,” Doyoung said once they were both buckled in. Jaehyun had offered to drive, but Doyoung said he could do it so they wouldn’t have to rely on GPS. Jaehyun was happy to sit in the passenger seat this time, the sight of Doyoung driving was rare and highly arousing—but they needed to behave for at least a few days, which would be torture.

“What do you mean? I didn’t say anything incriminating,” Jaehyun said.

“What would you call that lovesick rant then? _My love for this person is very much rooted deep in my heart and it’s never going to wither,_ ” Doyoung said, imitating Jaehyun in a completely uncharacteristic high-pitched voice. “You agreed that we will pretend to be friends for now, and that rant didn’t help. My family isn’t dumb, Jae.”

“First of all, my voice is as deep as the Mariana Trench,” Jaehyun scoffed. “And why do you think the rant was about you? I didn’t mention your name.”

Doyoung turned in his seat and gave Jaehyun a look that could kill. They stared at each other for a moment, neither of them backing down until Doyoung let out a long sigh. “Fine then,” Doyoung said, for once surrendering. “Have fun with that imaginary lover of yours. You can go back to Seoul and spend the holiday with them now.”

One second, two second, two and a half—Jaehyun burst out laughing. Doyoung spluttered and glared at him, yelling for Jaehyun to stop laughing at him and even hitting Jaehyun’s arm in retaliation, but—Jaehyun was still laughing happily—despite his attempt to look menacing, Jaehyun couldn’t help but coo. After two more punches that didn’t hurt at all, Doyoung finally stopped the mild violence, lips jutted out in a pout and eyes widened, his last ditch effort to win over this standoff with Jaehyun. Looking at his boyfriend now, Jaehyun’s heart did several dramatic backflips like it was competing in a romance olympics. Doyoung was absolutely adorable, the cutest human to have ever graced Jaehyun’s earth, no exaggeration.

“Are you jealous of this imaginary lover of mine?” Jaehyun pinched Doyoung’s cheek.

“Am not,” Doyoung huffed, slumping against the seat, resigned to his fate of being Jaehyun’s stress doll. Jaehyun took this opportunity to pinch his boyfriend’s cheek some more. “I’m just—you have no idea how much I wish I could say it out loud to them. Like, _mother, I’m gay, super duper fucking gay_. What’s so difficult about it, right? But I’m a coward.”

“Hey,” Jaehyun quickly pressed the serious mode button inside his brain. “It’s okay to be scared. I wish I could make this easier for you, but this is your life, and I will respect your choice to keep something so personal a secret if that’s what you want for now.”

“Thank you, Jae,” Doyoung turned to face Jaehyun, his hand gracing Jaehyun’s jaw softly. Jaehyun leaned into the touch, a little cold but entirely comforting. “Thank you for being understanding, thank you for being considerate, thank you for being here with me. I hope you know that I love you, and will always love you, despite our lies in front of my family.”

Jaehyun kissed Doyoung’s palm. “And I love you, Kim Doyoung, the owner of my heart.”

The smile that bloomed on Doyoung’s face was breathtaking. Jaehyun would learn every language just to utter those three words and express how in love he was with Doyoung, how much he loved Doyoung in spite of anything. Doyoung would never have to doubt Jaehyun’s undying dedication to him, that’s the one thing Jaehyun was ever certain of.

“Now get in loser, we’re going shopping,” Doyoung said after a beat of comfortable silence just staring into each other’s eyes.

“But we’re already in the car—”

“I haven’t bought anyone a Christmas gift yet.”

“Doyoung, what—”

It took about fifteen to twenty minutes for Jaehyun to discover that Doyoung brought them to Lotte Department Store. Once they arrived Doyoung was too lazy to find a space to park, and so they stopped at the main lobby and entrusted the car—Donghyun’s car—to a valet boy who looked like he was on the verge of falling asleep on the job. The mall was crowded with all kinds of people walking around; couples on a date holding hands, hyperactive children running around with their tired parents trailing behind, while a few seemed to be by themselves, probably people like Doyoung who preferred to do Christmas shopping on the last minute. It wasn’t a strange environment for Jaehyun who often had to accompany Doyoung on his shopping sprees that happened at least four or five times a month.

“What should I get for my mother?” Doyoung said, looking around the rows of stores while dodging a random kid who was running in their direction. Doyoung grumbled unhappily when another kid ran after the other kid dangerously close to him. “I swear these kids are like wild animals.”

“What does she like? My mum likes scented candles, maybe a cookbook,” Jaehyun said. Her mum was a simple lady who would treasure a rock and put it on display if Jaehyun gave it to her.

“Does my mother look like she even knows where the kitchen is?” Doyoung snorted. He looked interested in the glass display at Christian Dior. “I’m probably going to buy something predictable, my mother values the item more than the thought behind it.”

“Maybe she would like something more sentimental though.” Jaehyun didn’t know what these rich people buy for each other. The most expensive gift Jaehyun had ever received was a pair of AirPods Pro from Doyoung and even then he felt bad about it, he didn’t dare use the gift for several days until Doyoung shoved the buds into his ears and played WAP in a volume so loud Jaehyun was sure the lyrics _I want you to touch that lil’ dangly thing that swing in the back of my throat_ were tattooed inside his brain. The damage to his eardrums was totally worth it though, because then Doyoung made the lyrics come to life.

“It’s a challenge to buy a gift for someone who has everything,” Doyoung sighed. He stopped right in front of Prada and Jaehyun knew this was it from the expression on his boyfriend’s face, which was basically a look that said he was ready to whip out his black card. Doyoung grabbed his arm and led him to the store. “Whatever, let’s buy her a new purse. I’m sure I can find one she doesn’t already have.”

Just as Jaehyun had expected (in the safe zone of his mind, he didn’t dare say it out loud), it took forever for Doyoung to make a decision between a handbag or a wallet, and then when he had chosen the handbag because the price tag was higher and therefore more valuable as a gift, it took another lifetime to pick the colour he thought would suit his mother: electric pink or soft cream or midnight blue. Doyoung kept asking for Jaehyun’s opinion, _help me choose, Jaehyun, this is dead serious, Jaehyun, I’m fucking dying_ and every time Jaehyun would point at one of the items and say _this one looks better_ even though he had no taste in the finer things, he thought these purses were just that, a fucking purse. Jaehyun felt an upcoming headache pulling at his freshly bleached roots just looking at all of these options. The true champions were the staff though, especially the young lady with a tight high bun and soft red lipstick who smiled throughout everything, patiently showing Doyoung which items were new arrivals and which were from past seasons and helping him with whatever he needed. Another staff, a man in a crisp business suit, diligently made sure that Doyoung and Jaehyun’s flutes were always filled with expensive champagne, something Jaehyun wouldn’t complain about because free booze was free booze.

“Jaehyun, let’s go,” Doyoung poked Jaehyun’s shoulder once his black card was back in the safety of his monogram Louis Vuitton wallet. Jaehyun had been sitting for what felt like two hours and he was afraid his flat ass might leave a sweaty peach-shaped mark on the leather couch. Still, he was glad to go—but they were far from done. “I think I’m going to buy my father a new coffee machine. I don’t know if he will actually use it, but Donghyun hyung the coffee snob might. Can you believe he hates Frappuccino?”

The rest of their mall tour went like this: half an hour at a Nespresso store picking the right machine that Mr. Kim would appreciate, more or less forty minutes at Miu Miu to purchase a pair of heels for Aunt Areum, twenty-seven minutes at Burberry to pick a new trench coat that would fit Robert Roberts, and then about twenty minutes at SK-II to buy a complete skin care regimen for Donghyun. “Did you see Donghyun hyung’s skin?” Doyoung had whispered to him conspiratorially. “It’s gnarly. I don’t know what the army fed him or what the air was like, but he will be glad that I care so much about him and he will thank me when his smooth skin lands him a new girlfriend. Stacy will regret breaking up with him.”

Jaehyun thought Donghyun’s skin was fine and so was his skill to get someone—including Jaehyun to be completely frank—to fall for him because Donghyun had the charm of a K-Drama actor, mature and alluring from every angle. Still, arguing with Doyoung about his brother would be futile, so he nodded along and carried his boyfriend’s shopping bags without complain. Jaehyun had to repeatedly remind himself not to reach for Doyoung’s hand because this was Busan, nobody was supposed to know that they were a thing, so he awkwardly walked beside his boyfriend, keeping a respectful distance for Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. When a toy store appeared in the horizon, it was Doyoung who held Jaehyun’s hand and pulled him to walk faster.

“Slow down there, Maximus,” Jaehyun said, matching his boyfriend’s hasty pace like he was a white horse on the loose. A guy in blue uniform greeted them when they entered the store and like magnet Doyoung was immediately drawn to the aisle filled with so much pink and glitter.

“I don’t think our generation had these many toys,” Doyoung commented as he looked at the rows of Barbie dolls on display. Jaehyun, too, was curious about how many possible jobs were out there for Barbie to try. So far he saw Flight Attendant Barbie, Chef Barbie, Doctor Barbie, Astronaut Barbie, Police Barbie—though this one might be controversial in places like America, hashtag ACAB—and even F1 Racer Barbie and Boxer Barbie. Impressive. “Which one should I get for little Chanmi?” Doyoung asked, flipping around the box of Engineer Barbie in his hands to find the price plastered on it.

“I bet she already has most of these,” Jaehyun pointed at Barbie in a pink fairy costume. The box said she was Mariposa. Another doll then caught Jaehyun’s attention, it was a regular Barbie with a normal girl-next-door outfit, but what was interesting was her full name was Barbie Millicent Roberts. Huh.

“Is your uncle Barbie’s father?” Jaehyun asked and then laughed at his own joke.

“What do you mean?” Doyoung was clearly confused.

“They have the same last name and your uncle’s also blond,” Jaehyun said, still cracking up.

“You are seriously a bank of terrible jokes,” Doyoung said though he still laughed a little. “Now help me find one Barbie that Chanmi would like, please.”

Jaehyun stared back at Barbie Millicent Roberts’s dead eyes. She was—plain. Boring. Chanmi might be obsessed with Barbie, but maybe she would want a different Christmas present. “Maybe she’d like something else like Monster High?”

“Exquisite idea, Jung Jae,” Doyoung’s eyes lit up. “I love Monster High.”

Of course Doyoung did and even that was a major understatement. Jaehyun once found a folder filled with pirated Monster High movies on Doyoung’s MacBook Pro and after that incident they watched _Boo York, Boo York_ with a projector together. Jaehyun followed Doyoung to another aisle where Monster High dolls were displayed. Doyoung’s attention was immediately on one that looked like a vampire with pink streaks in her thick black pigtails. Jaehyun remembered this particular character, her name was Draculaura and she was Doyoung’s favourite.

“I want this,” Doyoung squealed, a little high-pitched and cute, and then he realised he was being too loud. He cleared his throat and then in an exaggerated deep voice said, “I mean, I want to buy this doll for Chanmi because this is a doll for kids and Chanmi is a kid, she’s so small, and—”

“Doie, you don’t have to pretend like you don’t want to buy it for yourself,” Jaehyun said.

“You know what, Jaehyun? You’re right, I’m going to get Draculaura for myself,” Doyoung said, the excitement clear in his tone. He picked another doll, this one had sickly green skin and black and white hair. “And I’m going to buy Frankie Stein for Chanmi.”

This time Doyoung paid in cash and refused the change because he couldn’t be bothered to put the bills back in his wallet. Jaehyun immediately made a move to take the shopping bag with the two dolls in it, but Doyoung wouldn’t let him. “I can carry this one,” Doyoung said, reaching out for another bag. “In fact, let me carry that SK-II bag too. You’re not my servant.”

“I would sell my soul to you though,” Jaehyun said.

“Your dedication to me is sweet,” Doyoung patted Jaehyun’s cheek with his free hand.

Finally, Doyoung had bought everyone in his family a Christmas present. Looking at the shopping bags, Jaehyun wondered whether Doyoung had also forgotten to buy _him_ a gift—but of course that couldn’t be true. Although neither Jaehyun nor Doyoung’s love language was receiving gifts, they weren’t shy about getting each other small gifts, mostly cute or funny stuff they came across, like the Cthulhu mug Jaehyun saw at a thrift shop and knew Doyoung would like or the weird troll lighter with fuzzy pink hair Doyoung bought for Jaehyun even though he never smoked. For Christmas this year Jaehyun did prepare a gift for Doyoung, two matching custom luggage tags with their names engraved on them for when they eventually travel the world together. Even if Doyoung had no gift for him this year or the next, Jaehyun wouldn’t be upset at all. Doyoung’s existence in his life was always enough.

“Is that Santa?” Doyoung suddenly shrieked. “Jaehyun, there’s Santa Claus!”  
Jaehyun followed Doyoung’s line of sight and sure enough there was a mall Santa sitting in a gold chair on a stage that was decorated to look like Santa’s house (does Santa live in a normal house? Jaehyun only knew the jacked version of Santa in Rise of the Guardians). Jaehyun saw that there was a small child in Santa’s lap and realised the entire set up was for kids to take a photo with the totally real Christmas icon. In front of the stage several children were queueing in a neat single file, waiting for their turn to whisper to Santa what they really wanted for Christmas—definitely not whatever their parents got for them—and have their picture taken.

“Jae, let’s take a picture with Santa!” Doyoung was pulling at Jaehyun’s sweater now.

“Slow down,” Jaehyun said as he tried to follow Doyoung’s pace.

“You have long legs, walk faster,” Doyoung said hurriedly.

Doyoung clapped in excitement once they joined the queue behind a kid with ridiculously long hair covered by an ugly teal beanie with cat ears. _This poor innocent child is going to grow up into a furry like Sicheng_ , Jaehyun thought. He looked around and saw that they were the only two adults that weren’t some snotty kid’s parents. Any other time Jaehyun would be embarrassed to be somewhere he wasn’t supposed to be at, like getting in a line obviously for kids, _but_ —Doyoung looked so excited, he seemed to really want to meet Santa and take a picture with him, and telling him no would be like telling a kid that Santa was not real, which then made Jaehyun wonder if _Doyoung_ knew Santa wasn’t real. Did he? The thought was both endearing and—something else. Doyoung was truly an enigma.

Jaehyun’s fear of embarrassment soon became real when someone dressed in a green elf costume approached them. “Excuse me sir,” the green elf said, “I’m sorry, but this photo op is only for children under 12 years old.”

“Surely you can make an exception for us,” Doyoung pleaded, already putting up the best puppy-eyed act. “I promise we just want to take a picture together, I won’t sit in Santa’s lap.”

“I’m really sorry,” the elf said like a broken robot. “But rules are rules and you can’t take a picture with Santa unless you’re below 12 years old.”

This overgrown male elf probably wasn’t paid enough to deal with this bullshit and Jaehyun kind of pitied him. Jaehyun was too whipped though. Whatever Doyoung wanted, Doyoung would get it, including a picture with this Santa mall with a terrible fake beard.

“I’m sure Santa won’t mind,” Jaehyun said. “My—friend will just take a quick picture with him and then we’ll be out of here before you know it.”

“Sir, I’m afraid I can’t allow it—”

“Is everything alright?” Another elf interrupted, this one much taller and with luscious blond hair pushed back sexily. This particular elf's costume was red and he looked so much like the creepy elf on the shelf Jaehyun hated so much. Jaehyun was about to try plead his case with this giant elf when said elf turned to his boyfriend with a surprised look on his stupidly handsome face. “Doyoung?”

“No, I’m not Doyoung,” Doyoung squeaked, scurrying to hide behind Jaehyun. “You got the wrong person, I don’t know anyone named Doyoung.”

Giant Elf laughed, his voice also somehow stupidly handsome. “I know it’s you, bunny,” he said.

A dangerous spike of annoyance flared inside Jaehyun’s body and mind. Who the fuck is this giant blond elf calling Doyoung _bunny_?

“Who the hell are you calling bunny? Get out of his face you—” Jaehyun was about to push Giant Elf’s dumb small head away when Doyoung finally revealed himself.

“Hi, John,” Doyoung said, timid and very much uncharacteristic of him. “It’s been a while, right?”

Jaehyun was too busy with his own thoughts. So this elf's name was _John?_ How fitting.

“Nearly a year, holy shit,” Giant Elf— _John_ said with an easy laughter that offended Jaehyun. Elves weren’t supposed to curse, especially with children queueing for Santa fucking Claus. Unfortunately, the other elf, the shorter one with non-bleached hair was gone so Jaehyun couldn’t complain. “Why didn’t you tell me you were home for Christmas this year? I would’ve visited your parents’ house.”

“Yeah, well, it was kind of last minute thing, sorry for not telling you,” Doyoung said. “You—what are you doing here? At the mall, I mean, and with that elf costume.”

“Oh, this cool fit?” The John guy pointed at his own body which made Jaehyun realise that he had a nice toned figure. Of course this John elf guy was blond, tall, and fit—and he knew Doyoung, even called him bunny. Jaehyun was definitely not jealous. He was not. “I’m the photographer for these cute kids who want to meet Santa. Management thought wearing an elf costume would be more fitting for the occasion, less intimidating for the little ones.”

“You look—great, and the blond hair really suits you,” Doyoung’s eyes darted between _John_ and Jaehyun. “Johnny, this is Jaehyun. My good friend from Seoul.”

Yeah, sure, _good friends_. Jaehyun scoffed internally, though he still shook hands with Johnny who had a huge smile plastered on his handsome chiseled face. Jaehyun’s mind was busy taking notes of every attractive thing about Johnny, from his styled dirty blond hair, his tall stature, his toned arms, and his fake elf ears that would look stupid on anyone else but somehow only added to the hotness points for him, kind of like Orlando Bloom in that one dumb fantasy movie. The result was out: Johnny was objectively a very, very attractive man who fit perfectly into Doyoung’s type. Now the issue was, what could possibly be his business with Doyoung?

“Are you staying with Doyoung?” Johnny asked, maybe because he was truly curious or maybe he was just trying to continue the conversation.

“Yeah, Doyoung’s family invited me,” Jaehyun said, leaving out the small detail of why he was invited in the first place.

“That’s great. I’m glad you have someone to spend Christmas with, Doyoungie,” Johnny said. Then someone, another overgrown elf, called his name from the stage. Johnny gave the other elf a thumb up and turned his attention back to Doyoung. “Look, I have a job to do for now, these kids will throw a tantrum if they have to wait for their turn any longer, but—” he looked down at his watch—“I have time tonight after 7. We should get a drink together. You too, Taehyun.”

“ _Jaehyun_ ,” Jaehyun corrected, annoyance spiking once more.

“Yes, sure, let’s grab drinks,” Johnny said with a dismissive hand wave. “You’ll come, will you, Doyoungie? For old time’s sake. You too, Taehyun.”

Jaehyun really didn’t know if this John guy was doing it on purpose, but of course Jaehyun would come, he had to be with Doyoung, especially with this guy around. “At the usual bar?” Doyoung asked. Jaehyun didn’t know what bar he was referring to, but he decided he did not like the word _usual_.

“Yeah, that could work, so I’ll see you two at 8 tonight?” Johnny said. “I have my car with me so I can pick you up at your parents’ house and we can go together.”

The other elf was getting impatient now, pacing around the stage with both hands on his narrow hips and looking at Johnny with a glare, so Jaehyun decided for them. “Yes, we’ll see you later, _John,_ ” Jaehyun said. Something about the single syllable name was weird on his tongue, but _Johnny_ was far too friendly for their first meeting.

Jaehyun refused the urge to stick his tongue out at Johnny when the other man turned his back and walked towards the stage to do his job.

“Fucking heaven,” Doyoung turned to Jaehyun once Johnny was at a safe distance from them, letting out a heavy breath like he had been holding it inside his chest for too long. “I didn’t expect to run into Johnny Suh of all people. Praise Satan.”

“Who is he anyway? He looks—friendly,” Jaehyun said.

“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you later,” Doyoung said, pulling Jaehyun once more. “Let’s get out of here now because I definitely don’t want Johnny Suh to take a picture of me.”


	7. Chapter 7

It was eerily quiet at the McMansion when they returned from the mall. Every step Doyoung took in his heavy combat boots echoed throughout the main hallway, his feet leaving a trail of dirtied snow on the pristine marble floor. When Jaehyun looked down, he realised that his shoes left a few marks too. Jaehyun internally cringed at how American it was, back at his parents’ house it was strictly forbidden to wear shoes anywhere indoor, everyone including guests had to wear special house slippers The habit was so deeply ingrained in Jaehyun’s everyday life that even at his own apartment he had slippers for himself and Doyoung, two matching fluffy pairs of Sulley and Mike Wazowski he bought from an online Disney store. Jaehyun wondered how many people it took to clean the entire house every week, perhaps even the entire cleaning service at his office wouldn’t suffice for a place this huge.

“Where is everybody?” Jaehyun asked once they entered the living room—or at least he thought it was a living room, there were so many sitting areas—where the fireplace had been lit. The atmosphere was cosy enough to make Jaehyun want to take a short nap, maybe fifteen minutes at maximum. They still had an hour before dinner and then drinks with that suspicious John guy.

“Aunt Areum probably took Chanmi and Uncle Robert somewhere with a playground, that kid can’t stay put even for a moment, kind of like a hyperactive labrador,” Doyoung said, throwing the shopping bags on one of the sofas. “Mother is probably in the garden tending her roses.”

“Your mum knows how to garden?” Jaehyun said, honestly quite impressed. Mrs. Kim seemed to be the type who wouldn’t get her hands dirty, though maybe he shouldn’t be judging from appearance.

“Did you not see my mother and her gazillion Harry Winston diamonds? We have people for that,” Doyoung said, frowning down at his manicured fingers. Jaehyun remembered taking Doyoung for the nail appointment two weeks ago, which meant the next one would be sometime this week. “Mother has been obsessed with Jackie Kennedy, which I think is ridiculous because she doesn’t know shit about her other than the thing with the roses.”

“Is that the first lady whose husband was assassinated?” Jaehyun knew jack shit about American history. He barely even passed East Asian history back in high school. “I think there’s a TV series about it—something with James Franco.”

“You’re thinking of that Hulu series based on a Stephen King novel with the same title. Great book from the horror master, though I didn’t bother watching the show because of James Franco,” Doyoung said. He looked around the room and huffed. “I swear this house is like a ghost town sometimes. Should we go find my brother? Maybe he wants to hang out with us and tell us more about Stephanie so I can make a voodoo doll and stab her right in her balding scalp.”

“Stacy,” Jaehyun corrected, though Doyoung didn’t seem to care at all. “Wait, you know how to create voodoo dolls?”

“How do you think I get my revenge on people who dare cross me?” Doyoung scoffed.

Truly, it had only been less than a day and there was already a lot about Doyoung that Jaehyun had just discovered. First the rich people cult, now voodoo for revenge, maybe after this Jaehyun would find out that Doyoung could summon an actual demon from the deepest pits of hell. Nothing to be surprised about, Jaehyun thought, maybe he could stop pretending to be God’s child and even harness this dark magic and use it for his own gain. He was about to ask Doyoung about it, whether or not there was some sort of initiation to get to the dark side, but his boyfriend was already walking out of the room.

“Where are we going?” Jaehyun asked, trailing after his boyfriend.

“To the gym,” Doyoung answered. “Donghyun hyung is a work out freak since his time in the army.”

“Maybe you should enlist in the army too,” Jaehyun said, half joking. When Doyoung immediately gave him a sharp no-nonsense look, Jaehyun put both hands up in surrender. Jaehyun must admit that it was a bad joke, he knew that enlistment was a sensitive topic for Doyoung and their relationship. “I’m just saying, you might want to exercise a bit—”

“Shut it before I hex you, Jae,” Doyoung said, taking a sharp left turn. Just as Jaehyun thought they had arrived, Doyoung kept on walking past several doors that made Jaehyun wonder what could possibly be behind each one of them and which one would lead him to the sacrifice room.

The home gym turned out to be located at the back of the mansion next to the main glam room. Jaehyun thought things like a _glam room_ were only for people like the Kardashians, celebrities who had to be under the scrutiny of cameras twenty-four seven, but apparently this was nothing unusual for Doyoung and his crazy rich family (“Mother likes to be pampered like the biggest star in the fucking universe, especially when she’s hosting a dinner party,” Doyoung explained which only further bewildered Jaehyun’s plebeian self).

“Hyung,” Doyoung knocked at the open door to announce their arrival.

Donghyun was doing push-ups on a red gym mat, bullets of sweat dripping down his forehead, his breathing a little irregular as he went up and down, up and down. Jaehyun had to force down the sudden jitter of nerves; he never knew how to act in front of men like Donghyun, men who looked like they chewed lesser men on the daily. Jaehyun’s stupid little gay heart had always been a little vulnerable, so weak for any attractive man he interacted with, but—Doyoung was here to remind him to stay loyal. This wasn’t some bad homemade porn where you could fuck your boyfriend’s brother.

“Joining me?” Donghyun looked up to where Doyoung and Jaehyun stood near the door.

“Me going down on that dirty gym mat? As if,” Doyoung said, flicking his invisible long hair. “I just wanted to tell you I met Johnny at the mall. Did you know he came back from Chicago?”

“You mean Johnny Suh?” Donghyun sat up and reached for his bottle of water. He took a few big gulps, his Adam’s apple bobbing sexily (not that Jaehyun noticed). “I don’t know anything about it, Ddoing, you know I haven’t been around much. But that’s great, isn’t it? You used to like him—I mean, you liked hanging out with him.”

Doyoung’s cheeks were red. “Yeah, well, we’re going to grab drinks tonight.”

“With Jaehyun too?” Donghyun’s eyes shifted toward Jaehyun that made him feel like he wasn’t supposed to be part of this conversation.

“Of course,” Doyoung said. “You can say yes and come with us while I’m still being nice.”

“Drinks with you?” Donghyun laughed like it was the funniest idea in the world. “I say good luck to both Johnny and Jaehyun when Level 5 Doyoung shows up.”

Jaehyun smiled. He understood what Donghyun meant. Even before they started dating officially, Doyoung had warned Jaehyun of the different types of Doyoung that might show up whenever he was drunk. Level 1 was basically just a flirtier version of normal Doyoung, nothing to be worried about, but Level 5 Doyoung was something else, he was childish, petty, and completely clingy. Usually it would take about eight shots for Doyoung to get on that level, maybe six or seven if he hadn’t eaten anything before drinking. Jaehyun remembered the first time he handled Level 5 Doyoung, he had to chase Doyoung around the parking lot and then forcefully dragged Doyoung away from a dirty plastic bag he thought was a stray cat he wanted to pet. That night and the following day had been a disaster. Fortunately for Doyoung, he didn’t remember hurling the entire content of his stomach all over Jaehyun’s brand new, squeaky clean Nike Air Force One, otherwise he would’ve insisted on replacing them with a new pair. Although Jaehyun had to take the shoes to a special laundry place downtown and paid a premium, he didn’t mind at all. To this day, the Great Puke Gate was the only secret in their relationship and Jaehyun intended to take it to the grave.

“I swear I’m not that bad anymore,” Doyoung said, petulant but clearly flustered. “Whatever. Let’s go upstairs, Jae. Have fun torturing yourself in the most boring way possible, hyung.”

“I love torture,” Donghyun said as he prepared himself for some pull-ups. Jaehyun had no idea why he did it or what was on his mind, but he gave Donghyun two thumbs up. When Donghyun returned it with a sweet dreamy smile that contrasted nicely with his sweaty body, Jaehyun nearly melted on the spot.

“Stop ogling my brother,” Doyoung pinched Jaehyun’s bicep hard enough to make him yelp. “Let’s steal some of Chanmi’s cookies and grab a bottle of wine from the cellar.”

The wine cellar. Of course they had one, a real mansion wouldn’t be complete without it. It was also an actual cellar with swirly stairs and old brick walls covered with a bit of moss. There were plenty to choose from—and not just red and white wine, there were also various whiskey with complicated names and other liquors Jaehyun didn’t even know existed. Jaehyun was once again in full alert, trying his best not to accidentally touch and break anything. Doyoung was happily whistling a song Jaehyun didn’t recognise, probably some song by his latest K-Pop boy obsession, as they looked through their options. It took a while until Doyoung picked up a bottle labelled entirely in French.

“This will do,” Doyoung showed him the bottle: 1978 E. Guigal La Mouline.

Thankfully for Jaehyun’s morals, they didn’t end up stealing Chanmi’s cookies, but they did grab some snacks from a walk-in storage that rivalled an actual grocery store. Jaehyun let Doyoung lead them both to his bedroom because honestly it would take him days, if not weeks, to actually memorise the map of the mansion. There were just too many rooms, too many hallways, and too many confusing turns and corners and stairs. Once they were both safely inside, Doyoung quickly shut the door behind them and jumped into the king-sized bed with dark grey sheets and matching pillows and covers. Unlike before, this time Jaehyun took the time to explore Doyoung’s childhood bedroom.

According to Jaehyun’s own experience, someone’s bedroom usually revealed who they were, a side of them that only they and a select few would know about. Doyoung’s bedroom seemed to perfectly reflect him and his personality that never seemed to change. Everything in the bedroom was black, dark brown, beige, and a little bit of silver. On one side of the wall there were framed records—RHCP, Nas, A7X, BoA, DBSK as five—each one of them signed by the actual artist. Jaehyun wasn’t surprised that Doyoung owned such a rare collection. Next to it was a black iron shelf filled with scary books that children and teens would read, including the complete collection of Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark and Goosebumps. On another shelf, there were various trophies from Doyoung’s childhood: first place in several singing competitions, second and third place in two different writing competitions, and first place in seventh-grade spelling bee. Jaehyun laughed to himself when he realised that of course, there wouldn’t be any award for sports-related events. Below the row of trophies were pictures of Doyoung throughout the years. Jaehyun was delighted to know that Doyoung hadn’t changed much since back in the day; baby Doyoung already had the same bright cheeky smile as the older version of Doyoung, and teenage Doyoung—probably no older than 14 or 15 years old—was downright adorable with the bright blue braces. There were also pictures of Doyoung with his high school friends, a few of them pimple-faced and a bit nerdy with outdated huge glasses. Doyoung wore an all-black outfit in every picture, truly on brand for him.

What caught Jaehyun’s attention the most was one particular frame that was put face down. He looked at his boyfriend who was busy pouring wine into two big glasses and took the opportunity to pick up the frame and flip it around—it was a picture of a younger Doyoung with that Johnny guy they met at the mall. The picture seemed to be taken at the beach, both of them grinning wide, flushed cheeks squeezed against each other and Johnny’s arm snug around Doyoung. What was interesting was Johnny’s face was scribbled with tiny hearts and on the corner, written in pink sharpie, was _D+J._ Jaehyun thought he would be jealous, but he felt a tingle of amusement instead. It was just an old picture, nothing else, and now Jaehyun had a good guess on why Doyoung was so flustered to meet the Giant Elf.

“You used to have a massive crush on Johnny,” Jaehyun said, voicing out his realisation. Doyoung was obviously a bit taken aback as evident from the surprise on his face. Jaehyun laughed, full on teasing his boyfriend now. “This could be us too, you know, your little fantasy of _D plus J._ I can see why you’d like Johnny though, he’s totally your type.”

“And what about it?” Doyoung said, moving around to find a comfortable position in his bed, the wine in his glass sloshing around dangerously.

“Nothing, I just think it’s cute,” Jaehyun put the picture back on the shelf. “So did you date Johnny? You’ve never told me about him.”

And that was true. Jaehyun had only ever met one of Doyoung’s exes and it was by accident. They were at a hair salon because Doyoung wanted to cut his overgrown bangs when a man walked in with his arm around a woman’s waist, laughing like they were the main characters in a teenage romcom. Jaehyun had to stop Doyoung from clawing out that woman’s eyes that day, it was not pretty. This John guy, however, had never been mentioned even once, and now Jaehyun wanted to know more about him and his backstory with Doyoung—not out of jealousy, of course, just pure curiosity.

“That’s because it was a sad childhood friends to almost lovers to misunderstandings to brother zone,” Doyoung sighed, massaging his temple with his free hand like he was anticipating an upcoming headache just from recalling the memory. “Johnny didn’t like, _like_ me that way, he said he was happy to just be friends and brothers with me. So I said yeah, sure, maybe like step brothers? You know, like in porn, but no—he meant like a platonic brotherhood where you treat each other like actual siblings, no funny business. Imagine that, Jae, me getting rejected by a guy? As if.”

“Couldn’t be me,” Jaehyun said. He couldn’t believe Johnny’s audacity to reject his boyfriend. “You have me now though. I would never do you dirty like that.”

“Of course you wouldn’t,” Doyoung sat back against the headboard. His eyes were half-lidded atop the rim of his wine glass. “I’d rather you do me dirty in some other ways.”

“Wait, are we going to—fornicate?” Jaehyun whispered just in case the room was bugged for whatever reason. Now that he thought about it, sneaking around behind everyone’s back was quite thrilling and he didn’t want to spoil the fun.

“We’re going to read the Bible instead if you keep using that word,” Doyoung threatened, though he still made a move to put the half-empty glass on one of the nightstands. When he returned to his position between the throw pillows, the expression on his face was open and inviting. “Come here and we’ll see what we can do, shall we?”

Jaehyun didn’t need to be told twice, immediately climbing into the massive bed and finding a comfortable position next to his boyfriend. Doyoung was like a barnacle, long limbs automatically wrapping tightly around Jaehyun who let him do whatever he pleased. The temperature was rather high due to the heating system in the room, and yet Doyoung was somehow still warmer, the heat from his body enough to send Jaehyun in a frenzy. Jaehyun wanted so badly to touch him, but he knew it was risky, so he waited for Doyoung to make the first move.

“I still feel bad about everything,” Doyoung said with a sigh, resting his head on Jaehyun’s shoulder. “This should be a normal holiday for us, we should be celebrating it as a happy couple, but of course I have to be this much of a coward in front of my own family—especially in front of Donghyun hyung, and now we’re basically in an even more mediocre version of Happiest Season.”

“I still don’t know how that movie ended,” Jaehyun said, which was true, he had fallen asleep in the middle of the movie until Sicheng whacked him upside down right as the credits rolled. “But anyway, I don’t mind our situation. Sure, it’s not ideal, but I’m just happy to be here with you. Your comfort is number one for me, Doie. I still have to ask though, is your family homophobic?”

“My situation isn’t like But I’m a Cheerleader,” Doyoung said with a soft giggle that eased Jaehyun’s mind a little. “I don’t know what my parents think about shit like this. I mean, these are the same people who think politics are for peasants and rich people who are poor, they’re so far in their own world I don’t think they ever thought about homosexuality even once. And you’ve seen my brother, he’s a full on ladies’ man, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they expected the same from me. The problem is that ever since I figured out I was gay—thanks to Johnny for that, discovering his abs was an eye-opening spiritual journey—I kept stalling and stalling until it felt too little too late to actually tell my parents. Now I’m a whole 25-year-old and still don’t know how to figure out a way to say that I’m so fucking gay it’s ridiculous.”

“That’s okay,” Jaehyun said, trying his best despite his terrible skill at pep talk. “Your parents seem a little out of this world, and I mean that in a good way I guess, but they seem to love you a lot.”

“Because they don’t know the truth yet. At least they stopped asking me about stupid shit like marriage—worse, marrying _a girl_ ,” Doyoung said with an exaggerated shudder. “Two years ago I brought a girl friend for Thanksgiving and they acted like I was ready to propose. As if. The only reason I’m going down on my knees is for a good blowjob. Speaking of—”

Doyoung sat up and manoeuvred himself to sit in Jaehyun’s lap, arms looped around his neck. He looked at Jaehyun dead in the eyes, lips pulled into a teasing smirk, and then started grinding against him. Jaehyun’s reaction was immediate, both hands flying to find purchase on Doyoung’s small waist, his mind still trying to wrap around the fact that his long fingers nearly touched. When Doyoung leaned in, for a split second Jaehyun thought he was going in for a kiss, but Doyoung whispered in his ear instead, something dirty, something that sounded like _let’s get down to business, daddy_ —Jaehyun didn’t really know, his mind was already going on overdrive and body operating on its own. Jaehyun moved one hand up, up, up until it reached Doyoung’s jaw, carefully angling his boyfriend’s head to finally, finally catch his lips with his own. The kiss was languid as Jaehyun took his time to taste the expensive wine on Doyoung’s soft lips, the alcohol a little bitter but sensuous and entirely intoxicating. Doyoung always kissed like he meant it, every touch and every nibble purposeful. Jaehyun let himself go, he was completely at Doyoung’s mercy, the feeling of their lips moving against each other so overwhelming and not unlike an addiction that kept Jaehyun trapped in a never-ending cycle of escapism. When Doyoung’s fingers started to tug at Jaehyun’s bleached blond locks, he immediately understood the cue and flipped their positions; Doyoung looked absolutely sinful laid against the dark grey covers of his childhood bedroom, a tempting view so forbidden that Jaehyun couldn’t resist anymore.

Jaehyun dived down and started peppering kisses on the juncture of Doyoung’s neck, soft at first and with a little more vigour as he slowly moved downward. It didn’t take much longer for Doyoung to start letting out soft gasps and winded moans, whispering for more, whiny and so needy for Jaehyun to give him everything. This further spurred Jaehyun on, he let several hickeys bloom on the expanse of Doyoung’s neck and chest, the blue and purple hues like a splash of watercolour on pale unblemished skin. For a while Jaehyun gave himself as much time as he wished to pay attention to every inch of Doyoung’s body, lips against skin and palms pressed firm on Doyoung’s lithe figure, until the older man splayed underneath him started to get a little restless.

“Jae,” Doyoung said, breathless, pulling at Jaehyun’s hair once more.

“What do you want, baby?” Jaehyun said. “Use your words, can’t you, my love?”

“Get this off—” Doyoung pawed at the sweater on Jaehyun’s body.

“What do you say?”

“Please, please—” Doyoung pleaded, the frantic tone made his impatience obvious. “Please get this stupid sweater off. I want to touch you, I want to feel you. Please, Jaehyun.”

How could Jaehyun say no when Doyoung asked him so nicely with that sweet honey voice of his? Jaehyun lifted his body a little, just enough to give him space so that he could pull the sweater up and off of his body. Doyoung’s eyes hungrily took in the sight before him, his gaze glazed with want and need and desperation, his cold palms raking the prominent abs on Jaehyun’s stomach. Jaehyun took the opportunity to unbutton Doyoung’s white dress pants before swiftly removing the fabric so he could touch the rest of his body. Jaehyun couldn’t hold back the guttural groan from escaping his throat when he saw Doyoung with nothing but the pink button up, the red in his cheeks a nice compliment to his current state.

“What do you want, bun?” Jaehyun leaned down again, his entire frame caging Doyoung’s body underneath as he nibbled on Doyoung’s left ear, pulling at the lobe to tease him. He knew just how sensitive that part of Doyoung’s body was. “Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you.”

“I want—” Doyoung gasped after a particular harsh tug of his ear—“I need you to fuck me, Jae.”

“How bad do you want it, baby bun?”

“So bad, so bad—please, Jae,” Doyoung squirmed in Jaehyun’s hold. “I want to feel you inside me, Jaehyun, I want it so bad. Please.”

Jaehyun felt the flare of desire coursing through his entire body. He, too, couldn’t wait anymore, his hard cock already throbbing and demanding for full attention in the confines of his pants, so he whispered to Doyoung’s ear once more, _okay bun I’ve got you,_ before moving back so he could get rid of his jeans. Jaehyun was halfway through the struggle of taking off the washed denim, half of his ass already hanging out, and then—

A shrill shriek rung through the bedroom.

Doyoung was the first one to react, shouting a string of profanities mixed with praises for Satan as he scrambled to get off of the bed, pushing Jaehyun so hard he nearly flew off the bed.

“Chanmi! Go away!” Doyoung shrieked in horror, frantically covering his half-naked lower half and nearly tripping over his own feet.

“Chan—what—” Jaehyun finally found his footing on the carpeted floor and turned around, the entire room spinning a little with how fast he moved, and—sure enough, there she was, little Chanmi was standing at the wide open door, small mouth hung open in ruined innocence. Jaehyun quickly scrambled to cover up his indecency, quickly pulling up his pants and then, as a last desperate attempt, he pulled the covers in Doyoung’s arm.

“Fuck you, let go, Jaehyun!” Doyoung hissed at Jaehyun, also pulling harder. They struggled a little, pulling the different ends of the dark grey covers, which only further revealed their bare bodies, until they realised there was a more pressing matter. Doyoung huffed as he pushed Jaehyun away from him and then turned his attention back to the little girl with Mariposa wings. “Chanmi, fuck—I mean, duck—duck, can you please go away and close the door—”

“What on mother’s Earth is going on?”

Fuck, that was Mrs. Kim’s voice. Jaehyun’s first instinct was to jump to hide behind Doyoung when Mrs. Kim appeared—and to make things even worse, Mr. Kim was right behind her, his fingers that were twirling his thick grey moustache immediately flash-freezing when he realised what was going on.

“Aunty, Doyoungie oppa and Mr. Ken are naked!” Chanmi shouted with a fit of happy giggles, tiny index finger pointing at Doyoung and Jaehyun like it was the most delightful scene she ever witnessed. “Mr. Ken, why are you so flat? Your butt is like the pancakes mama makes for me in the morning!”

“Oh go to hell, Chanmi!” Doyoung shouted. “Somebody please fucking k-word me now. I’m ready to pay for my sins, please—”

Jaehyun felt every litre of his blood going up his neck and face. Goddamn Chanmi and her astute observation, Jaehyun would never recover from this burn. Meanwhile, Mrs. Kim was busy ushering Chanmi out of the bedroom and into the arms of a waiting staff that Jaehyun didn’t even realise was also there to witness their little forbidden romp. In front of him, Doyoung was breathing heavily, shoulders beginning to shake a little, a telltale sign that he was on the verge of a mental breakdown. When Mrs. Kim turned back to them, Jaehyun prayed to whichever God was available to open up the Earth underneath his feet and swallow him whole.

“Oh my, my, my,” Mrs. Kim sung almost in the tone of that one BTS song Jaehyun couldn’t keep out of his noisy head, an unsettling smile on her face. Jaehyun braced himself for the worst, fingers gripping Doyoung’s shoulders—“you two just couldn’t wait, could you?”

“Mother, I can explain, I swear—” Doyoung’s voice wavered a little as he pleaded, but it seemed that neither of his parents would let him live this down.

Next to his wife, Mr. Kim cleared his throat, intervening. “Jaehyun, son, I hope you’re plugging your funnel before entering the tunnel and if you’re not going to sack it, then go home and whack it,” he said, his face dead serious despite the ridiculous advice coming out of his mouth.

“Curse the Gods—father!” Doyoung exclaimed desperately. “Please—just—”

“Silence, my little gothic minx,” Mrs. Kim cut her son off, still with the creepy smile. Jaehyun didn’t know where to look, didn’t know if he was supposed to even look at anyone, so he kept his gaze trained on Mr. Kim’s marvellous moustache. “Meet us downstairs once you’re both decent, will you? It’s time.”

Time for what? Jaehyun didn’t know—but it wasn’t like they had any other choice. As soon as the door closed behind Mr. Kim’s imposing figure, Jaehyun peeled himself off of Doyoung’s back to find his sweater somewhere on the carpet. As Jaehyun put his sweater back on, he belatedly realised that his boner had totally been killed and his libido was in several minus points. Doyoung, however, was rooted on the spot, still tightly gripping the covers that barely covered his legs.

“Doyoung, my love—”

“My life as I know it is over,” Doyoung wailed, tears already streaming down his face. “They’re going to cut me off from the entire Kim family tree, block all of my credit cards, take away my black card, evict me from my gorgeous Gangnam apartment, and maybe even kick me in the dick twice just for the hell of it, and then I will be so poor and ugly and I will have to wear one of those stupid Adidas superstar—”

“No, no, no, no,” Jaehyun quickly said, wiping the tears away from Doyoung’s face. “No, Doyoung, that won’t happen—I mean, I don’t really know, and even if it does—”

“Oh my fucking God, it _is_ going to happen!” Doyoung wailed again, slumping all the way down on the carpet, face in his hands. In a small voice, he said, “Jaehyun, what do I do now? I can’t live without my Chanel jackets and Gucci bags, I can’t live without you—I don’t want to live without you, Jae—”

Jaehyun bent down to his knees so he would be eye-level with Doyoung. He pulled his distressed boyfriend into his embrace, one hand stroking Doyoung’s back gently in an attempt to soothe him. “No matter what happens,” Jaehyun said softly, “I will be with you, I won’t ever leave you, okay? You’ve always got me, bun, and I mean it.”

After a few hiccups, Doyoung finally looked up, eyes completely red and a bit of snot running down his pretty nose. “Do you promise?” Doyoung asked in tiny font.

“Yes, I promise you, my love,” Jaehyun said, leaning his forehead against Doyoung’s. “You’ll have me now and the coming days, months, years, this lifetime and the next. I love you.”

“Okay,” Doyoung sniffed. “I trust you, Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun smiled, sweet and reassuring, though deep in his heart he was nervous as hell about the upcoming walk of shame. What will happen now?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to finish this entire thing a month away from Christmas. Hope you enjoyed this nonsensical fic while it lasted, see you in my next work (if you would kindly check it out in the future)!

All things considered, this was not the worst walk of shame Jaehyun had ever done in his life. Back in his college years, a phase in which Jaehyun was a lot more adventurous and Doyoung-less, he once had to walk a few blocks bare footed because his drunken one night stand had taken away his shoes as ransom until Jaehyun somehow found a way to return his dignity. That was Jaehyun’s first and last fling, after that, never again. And now, years later, Jaehyun was too old to be still doing the same shit, walking down the confusing hallways and once again avoiding the judgmental eyes of Doyoung’s dead ancestors while a bunch of questions swirled around his aching head: when did everyone return home? What was Chanmi doing at Doyoung’s bedroom door and why did she have no manners, barging into someone’s room without knocking just like that? Why was Mrs. Kim smiling so wide like she was having the time of her life? What was going to happen to Doyoung and their relationship now?

Doyoung balked a little when they were nearing the main sitting area—Jaehyun still hadn’t figured out if it was indeed the living room—and he was about to make a sharp u-turn and go back to the safety of his childhood bedroom if Jaehyun hadn’t held him back. _We’ll face this together,_ Jaehyun whispered to his spooked boyfriend. Doyoung pleaded with his best puppy eyes, lips pouted, but Jaehyun was firm on his decision. There was no running away when everything—including his unfortunate peach buns—was out in the open for everyone to see.

As soon as they walked into the sitting room, Jaehyun immediately regretted showing his sinful self because everyone was waiting, including Donghyun and—

“Johnny,” Doyoung gasped, so out of breath that Jaehyun was concerned he might actually pass out. “What the fuck—”  
“Language, my dear,” Mrs. Kim warned.

Doyoung did not give a flying fuck, he pointed at Johnny accusingly, “What in the fresh hell are you doing here? You’re not supposed to see me like this.”

“Well—” Johnny cleared his throat and went for the kill—“I thought we were going to grab some drinks but I see you were preoccupied.”

“Kill me now and bury me nine feet deep in mother’s rose garden,” Doyoung said, hands coming up to cover his flushed face. “Please, just—let me live while I still have the will for it—I know it looks really bad, but I can explain everything, including Jaehyun’s nonexistent ass, I swear, mother—”

“Areum, take your sweet little child and husband somewhere else, will you? This is between me and my son,” Mrs. Kim commanded, and once Aunt Areum and her family were gone, she turned to look sharply at Doyoung who was still freaking out. “Doyoung, calm your knockers and sit down, we will talk about it.”

Jaehyun would’ve laughed at the word _knockers_ if the situation wasn’t so dire. Doyoung threw himself in one of the loveseats, face still covered and shoulders shaking a little like he was on the verge of crying again, maybe even worse this time. Jaehyun wanted to calm him down, tell him it was okay, that at least he didn’t need to explain the lack of ass, but when he looked around, he realised there was no other seat available other than the space right across Mr. Kim. Jaehyun sighed and then awkwardly took a seat in front of Mr. Kim whose expression was impossible to read, stoic like a Korean version of Ron Swanson. Jaehyun’s knees soon found their own rhythm, going up and down, up and down in nervous jitter. Mr. Kim was looking straight at him now, man to man, father to sinner, while Mrs. Kim sat in silence with her posture upright and hands folded in her lap. In another seat, Johnny was sitting calmly, patiently waiting for the drama to unfold. Meanwhile Doyoung could be crying or laughing behind his hands for all Jaehyun knew. Jaehyun did not like this situation one bit, and yet here he was. Of course this had to be his life.

Still—it wasn’t anyone’s fault that they were in this situation in the first place. Yes, Doyoung did lie to everyone, but Jaehyun wouldn’t put the blame on him—well, maybe a little, but not entirely. Doyoung was everything for Jaehyun, one of the main sources of his happiness, the reason for him to smile every single day. Jaehyun wasn’t going to throw him under the bus, especially not in front of his parents. So Jaehyun was going to take the weight off of his boyfriend’s shoulders and bear it himself. Doyoung had enough to be worried about, he didn’t need a potential falling out with his own family, especially with his brother whom he loved dearly. No, Jaehyun wouldn’t let that happen.

“Look, Mr. Kim and Mrs. Kim,” Jaehyun started when everyone was just silently staring at everyone else, daring either Jaehyun or Doyoung to speak up first. “Please don’t blame Doyoung for the—unfortunate event. I swear it wasn’t as bad as it looked—I mean, I guess I was corrupting your son and that was entirely on me, but we’re just—friends,” the word felt heavy on Jaehyun’s tongue, but he was going to go through with the lie until the very end if that was what Doyoung wanted. “And I’m sincerely very sorry—”

“Son,” Mr. Kim said, cutting off his rant. “I think we’re past all of these ridiculous lies. We know. Everybody knows.”

“Father—what—” Doyoung’s eyes snapped comically wide open, hands gesturing wildly. “So you knew? But how? I literally never told you! Not you, not mother, not Donghyun hyung—”

“That you’re gay? You didn’t need to tell me, Ddoing,” Donghyun said and for a second Jaehyun thought he was teasing his brother, but he might be wrong, because Donghyun's face was serious yet kind and full of understanding. “I mean, I knew that part already but wait—so Jaehyun’s not actually an orphan?”

“No, I’m not, my parents are alive and well,” Jaehyun said.

“We knew that already,” Mrs. Kim said. When Jaehyun looked confused, she continued, “You think I would let my son date someone without running a background check on him? What do you take me for?”

“Wait a fucking minute,” Doyoung yelled. “So you knew about Jaehyun and let me lie through my teeth and pretend like nothing’s happening between us? Mother!”

“I cannot believe you truly thought _you_ could lie to _me_ and your father, Doyoung,” Mrs. Kim said, clutching her literal pearls. She looked beyond offended by her son’s audacity. “You are my son, Doyoung, of course I know everything about you—including your preference for Adam’s son, and your choice of fornicating with these fine blond men.”

Doyoung was shaking violently in his seat—but this time with crazed laughter and utter disbelief. “Sweet Satan,” he said, hands on his face like he had to hold back a scream, “I can’t believe this fucking family. So—tell me, mother, since when did you and father know that I’m gay?”

“Oh, honey,” Mrs. Kim cooed, “Your father and I have always known. How could we not? You used to always want Ken dolls and whenever I bought you a Barbie doll to be his companion, you always cut her hair and made her ugly.”

“That’s very stereotypical and downright offensive but point taken,” Doyoung said, slumping against the backrest of the seat, admitting defeat. “Wait a fucking—“ he sat straight back up, once again pointing at Johnny who had been silent all this time—“you! Did you tell my family, John?”

“Johnny has nothing to do with this,” Mrs. Kim answered for him. “I don’t mind that you prefer Ken over Barbie, sweetheart. As people nowadays like to say, love is love. I accepted it long ago when I realised you were head over heels for dear John. Although, back then when you were still in high school, I did think you and Johnny were going to start dating each other. I kept waiting for something to happen between you two and to be completely honest I was quite disappointed when no news of your relationship came.”

“Mother!” Doyoung once again threw himself back against the seat, wincing in pain when his back bumped against the grenadil frame harshly. Jaehyun cringed a little and hoped his boyfriend wouldn’t get back pain after this.  
“You were smitten, was that not true? Of course I took notice,” Mrs. Kim sighed dreamily.

“No offence to you and Doyoung, Mrs. Kim,” Johnny put both hands up in an apology, “Doyoungie is very pretty, and I think he’s really cute, but I like me some big jiggly knockers.”

“Well, ain’t that just terrific? I just got rejected by Johnny Suh again, not that it hurt my feelings and my pride as God’s favourite twink or anything,” Doyoung said in exasperation. Across him Johnny gave him an apologetic look, mouthing _I’m_ _sorry, bunny,_ which was then returned with a death glare from Doyoung. “So—okay, are we finally done embarrassing me and provoking my innate humiliation kink now? I might as well go back to _fornicating_ in my childhood bedroom with my adult boyfriend.”

“What do you have to say, son?” Mr. Kim said to Jaehyun. He was nowhere near done with this uncomfortable conversation, his eyes locked on Jaehyun.

“Well, I—” Jaehyun cleared his throat, suddenly even more nervous than ever before, the jittery feeling eating him inside out. This was worse than doing a crucial presentation in front of his company’s executives, at least at the office Jaehyun wouldn’t be at risk of losing the love of his life. “First, I would like to apologise for lying to everyone, it wasn’t my intention, but Doyoung was obviously distressed and I didn’t want to to upset him any further, so I did as he wished. That’s not to say I’m putting the blame on Doyoung, not at all, because I also did my part in trying to deceive you all. And when it comes to me and Doyoung—well, I would never apologise for dating him, because I am truly, deeply in love with Kim Doyoung and that’s not a mistake. Never. I want to be with him, I know that in the deepest part of my heart.”

“Beautiful,” Mrs. Kim said, clasping her hands together and smiling with tears in her eyes. “I knew I could trust you, Jaehyun. You have my blessing to continue your relationship with my son. I am certain that my husband would agree with me.”

“You seem like a good man,” Mr. Kim agreed. “I would trust my son’s heart in your hands, son.”

“Wonderful,” Mrs. Kim said. “Shall we celebrate with dinner now? It’s not Christmas Eve yet, but I told the chef to keep a spare turkey just in case—”

“Wait, that’s it?” Doyoung said. “You’re giving me away, your youngest son, the light of your life and the most wonderful miracle to have ever happened to you—just like that? With some sappy words that might or might not be genuine? Are you kidding me?”

“Well, I don’t see any ring yet—”

“Don’t worry, it’s coming soon, Mrs. Kim,” Jaehyun said. He was smiling brightly now, heart soaring and ego inflated bigger than his head could accommodate. When he looked at Doyoung, his boyfriend was looking at him with mouth agape. “Sorry for spoiling it so soon, Doie, but I promise I will propose to you for real when you least expect it. The whole thing is going to be grand and very romantic.”

“Praise the Dark Lord,” Doyoung said in response. “I am surrounded by fucking weirdos.”

“Language—”

Amidst the chaos as the Kim family bickered once more, Jaehyun smiled bigger and brighter than any orphan’s who had just been adopted. They were going to be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even celebrate the holiday nor do I like winter but whatever. Take a seat and relax.
> 
> Come find me & let's be friends:
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/krcntw)
> 
> [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/krcntw)


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